Gender and Language : A Review on the Use of Language by Male and Female University Students

Dil, sosyal olarak insa edilmis ve guclu bir baski araci olarak kullanilmistir. Dil, ayni zamanda en buyuk sinif mucadelesi olan erkek/kadin mucadelesinde de onemli bir yere sahiptir. Cinsiyet bir ideoloji oldugundan, dil hem toplumsal hem de evrensel olarak insa edilmistir. Egemen ideoloji ataerkil oldugu icin, kadin ataerkilligin belirledigi soylem cercevesinde kalmistir. Bu ataerkil toplum, dili erkegin nesnesi yapar. Kadinlari pasif yapan bu duzen, onlari erkekler tarafindan sekillendirilen bir dilin egemenligi altina alir. Feminist dilbilimciler bu duzene dayanarak, kadinlarin erkekler tarafindan uretilen ve kendilerini ifade etmelerini engelleyen bir dilde yasamak zorunda olduklarina dikkat cekmistir. Cunku dil o kadar guclu ve derin bir yapidir ki, kadinlar kamusal alanda yer almaya basladiginda bile, bunu erkek egemen bir dille yapmak zorundadir. Bu calismanin amaci cinsiyete bagli olarak dil kullanimini incelemektir. Calisma, teori ve uygulama olmak uzere iki bolumden olusmaktadir. Birinci bolumde toplumsal cinsiyet ve dil teorilerine yer verilmistir. Ikinci bolumde ise kadin ve erkek dil kullanimindaki farkliliklari uygulamali olarak belirleyebilmek icin konusma analizi yontemi kullanilmistir. 16 universite ogrencisinden olusan katilimcilar 4 kisilik gruplara ayrilmis ve her bir grup ile ayri ayri roportaj yapilmistir. Konusma kayitlarinin degerlendirilmesi Jennifer Coates’un calismalari uzerine temellendirilmistir. Konusma analizi verileri incelendiginde kadin ve erkek katilimcilar arasinda belirgin konusma farkliliklari oldugu ortaya cikmistir.


Introduction
According to Engels, the conflict between women and men is the first class struggle in history. ''The first-class opposition that appears in history coincides with the development of the antagonism between man and woman in monogamous marriage the first class oppression coincides with that of the female sex by the male'' (Engels, cited by Danovan, 2000: 88). Sex refers to two biologically different human species. Women and men are very different in appearance and physiological development. However, it is not due to the biological characteristics of women and men that they are differentiated but by their gender which is a pattern of femininity and masculinity that is socially constructed. Researchers have highlighted gender by drawing attention to the differences created by society, apart from known biological differences. This distinction also indicates that all the values assigned to men and women are constructed by society. After the recognition of gender and the existence of discrimination caused by it, the second question is why this discrimination is against women.
The most important blow to women's place in society came from the psychoanalysis method in the early 1900s. Freud's work in human sciences has been closely related to feminism. This is because in Freud's studies, there are many discourses about the role of women and men in family as well as psychology.
Sigmund Freud, a Viennese neurologist, devised a theory that emphasizes the differences between personality development and functioning of men and women. Freud's theory was controversial when he developed it, during the last part of the 19th century, and remains so, partly because his theory casts women inferior to men (Brannon, 2015: 103).
First of all, Freud accepts that femininity is "secondary" from birth, with the idea that females were born with their destiny. According to Freud, the woman has some inherent shortcomings, which calls back to Aristotle who sees women as deficient men. Such a view means that men should be accepted as the norm.
Neither the biological characteristics of women, nor the economy, nor culture, are enough to explain gender. This phenomenon is constantly reproduced through traditions, media, press, and legal practices. The power of all these re-production tools comes from language. Because it is impossible for these instruments to transmit gender without language, there is a relationship between gender and language which cannot be ignored.
'Gender and language' is one of the most controversial issues in the field of women's studies. The linguistic approach on gender was brought through the women's movements in the 1960s and 1970s, and feminist linguistics emerged. The beginning Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/Augst 2020 of feminist linguistics is seen in the United States of the 1970s. In 1973, the American linguist Robin Lakoff published her work, Language and Women's Place, laying the foundation for many theories of female language. Lakoff points out that women experience linguistic discrimination in two ways: the way they learn to use language and the way they deal with general language use.
Researchers studying gender and language focused on finding out what kind of linguistic resources people are performing instead of asking questions like 'how do women speak?' or 'how do men speak?' They also questioned which language practices support certain gender ideologies and norms. In this research it is aimed to get a very clear view about the gender difference in language use. Moreover, the aim is to find out the reasons for differences in the use of language by men and women based on the views of Robin Lakoff and other socio-linguists.

Literature Review
There have been some discussions on the sociolinguistic approaches of gender and language. Thorne (1983:12) touches on the differences in speech between men and women and questions the reasons for these differences. In her book, Lakoff claims that women's weakness and their secondary position in society are seen both in the language they speak and in their language about women. According to Lakoff, the characteristics of the female language are similar to the gender roles given to them. Lakoff lists the features of women's speech as follows: 1. Lexical hedges or fillers (you know, sort of, well, you see) 2. Tag questions (She's very nice, isn't she?) 3. Rising intonation on declaratives (It's really good?) 4. "Empty" adjectives (divine, charming, cute) 5. Precise color terms (magenta, aquamarine) 6. Intensifiers (I like him so much) 7. 'Hypercorrect' grammar (consistent use of standard verb forms) 8. 'Superpolite' forms (indirect requests, euphemisms) 9. Avoidance of strong swear words (fudge, my goodness) 10. Emphatic stress (It was a BRILLIANT performance) (Lakoff,(53)(54)(55) The gender difference in language can manifest itself in many ways. These differences can sometimes be seen as differences in word choices, sometimes phonetic differences, and sometimes grammatical differences. The first interesting example given for the gender-dependent variable in linguistics is the language of the Carib Island natives. Carib Indians seized the islands of the Arawak tribe and married the Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 women by killing all men when they settled. The women continued to speak Arawak language and taught their daughters. Boys, however, started to use the language of their fathers and brothers from the age of five, even though they understood the language of their mothers and sisters.
The language of the Carib in the Lesser Antilles is often quoted as an example of striking differences in men's and women's vocabulary. This phenomenon, which seems to have been once more extensive, is said to persist today in Dominica. (Furfey,220) William O'barr and Brown Atkins examined the voice records of people in courtrooms in 1980, and claimed that the language features that Lakoff attributed to women match the language features of weak people: Our observations show a continuum of use of the features described by Lakoff.' We were initially at a loss to explain why some women should speak more or less as Lakoff had described and why others should use only a few of these features. We will deal with our interpretation of these findings later, but first let us examine some points along the continuum from high to low (O'barr,Atkins,403) Otto Jesperson, on the other hand, approached the differences between the woman and the conversation from a different perspective and stated that indigenous Bantu Women in Africa do not say the names of their father-in-law and the women in the royal family do not say the names of their husbands: In some parts of the world the connection between a separate women's language and taboo is indubitable. Thus among the Bantu people of Africa. With the Zulus a wife is not allowed to mention the name of her father-in law and of his brothers, and if a similar word or even a similar syllable occurs in the ordinary language, she must substitute something else of a similar meaning. (Jesperson,227) The striking detail in Jesperson's finding is that women and men are in different social hierarchical order. Women are secondary in society. While society sees language as a tool that men can use freely, women 's language use is greatly limited.
According to Wardhaugh (1986: 306) in some languages, men and women use different words and suffixes as grammatical rules. He also states that Japanese women add 'ne' to the end of the sentence, in this way they specify gender. He states that in Tai language, women repeat the verb, while men bring the suffix 'mak' to the end of the verb in order to explain a recurring action. Spender (1980) argues that women are expected to remain silent when they are with men. Spender found that, even though women speak much less than men, the impression is that women talk too much. It is not appropriate for women to manage the speech and to interfere with the speech.
In recent years, some sociologists and anthropologists (Zimmermann and West, 1975;Maltz and Borker, 1982;Tannen, 1982Tannen, , 1986Tannen, -1990 have examined the use of the language of men and women in terms of communication between these two sexes and seen this area as an important source in explaining the differences between women and men. According to Maltz and Borker (1982: 202), individuals acquire a set of rules that they use in different communication situations when they come to adult age. These rules have been learned in different contexts and at different times. For example, individuals have rules that they learn when they interact with their parents and teachers when they are children, which are used to interact with people who are superior and inferior to them. Children learn to communicate with their friends from their peers, not from their elders, between the ages of five and fifteen. In this period, children usually choose their friends from their own sexes. Thus, girls and boys acquire different forms of speech through different socialization processes. According to Maltz and Borker girls usually play in pairs. Their social lives are focused around their closest friends. Friendship is established through conversation. The games are set up on cooperation, and when they cannot maintain cooperation, the group breaks down. On the other hand, boys usually play outside, creating larger groups. Groups have a hierarchical structure. Deborah Tannen also argues that women and men speak differently. Thus, in You Just Don't Understand she states: Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations. Analyzing everyday conversations, and their effects on relationships, has been the focus of my career as a sociolinguist. In this book I listen to the voices of women and men. I make sense of seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships and show that a man and a woman can interpret the same conversation differently, even when there is no apparent misunderstanding. (Tannen, preface) Tannen considers the interaction between women and men as intercultural communication. According to Tannen, boys and girls develop two different forms of speech because they socialize in different subcultures, and as adults they interpret the Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 same message in different ways as they have different rules of speech. Tannen defines culture as a network of habits and behavior patterns created by past experiences, adding that women and men experience very different experiences from each other. She concludes that adults treat girls and boys in different ways starting from infancy, and that they use different forms of speech when talking to them , and that, as a result, boys and girls gain different forms of behaviour and speech, even if they grow up in the same house.
If adults learn their ways of speaking as children growing up in separate social worlds of peers, then conversation between women and men is cross-cultural communication. Although each style is valid on its own terms, misunderstandings arise because the styles are different. Taking a cross-cultural approach to malefemale conversations makes it possible to explain why dissatisfactions are justified without accusing anyone of being wrong or crazy. Learning about style differences won't make them go away, but it can banish mutual mystification and blame. (Tannen,23) Studies on the style of speaking of men and women generally suggest that female language is emotional and male language is more direct. The findings of studies on the linguistic use of women are almost the same. When a generalization is made among these findings, it is seen that the most mentioned difference between female language and male language is that the female language is emotional and male language is more objective than female language.

Research Question and Aim
The study focuses primarily on gender and its potential scope of validity in relation to language. More precisely, this work is carried out to assess and analyze the relationship between language and gender. The main purpose of this study is to examine the differences in speech between men and women. The universe of the study consists of women and men. The sample of the study is university students who study at the same school and know each other well. The reason why the participants are chosen from people who know each other is to make the participants feel comfortable during the conversation process. This also helps the researcher to observe the participants in natural setting.
The following research questions were asked to give some possible answers about whether one can find differences between male's and female's way of using language: 1. Do women talk more ?

Gender And Language: A Review on the Use of Language By Men And Women | 601
Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/Augst 2020 2. Are women more willing to talk about family communication? 3. Do women use more adjectives than men? 4. Do women use lexical hedges more than men? 5. Do women use intensifiers more than men? 6. Do women use more tag questions? 7. Do women use more emphatic stress?

Theoretical Embedding and Methodology
In this research, several theories about gender and language were presented. In order to test these theories, interviews were implemented with specific words, expressions and comments typical for females and males.
This study is a descriptive qualitative research, in the form of descriptive analysis because the data are in forms of the words and based on Lakoff's theory of women's speech features. To this end, 16 students were divided into 4 groups, two boys and two girls, and each group's speech was recorded. The reason why students are grouped in this way is that the number of male and female students is equal and to be able to observe the conversations of male and female students in each group. Each group was given a text called "family communication" and conversations were made about this text. Then sentences containing the characteristics of female and male language were extracted to work on as data. This research analyzed the conversations of the participants as the data source.

Theories of Language and Gender Theories of Literature
There are three main different approaches to language and gender: the domination-power-based approach, the difference-cultural diversity and the performance of gender and language. While the theory of domination focuses on the fundamental differences between men and women in language usage, it emphasizes that differences can be explained by power relations. There are discussions about the fact that men's language is accepted as norm and women are forced to speak it. The first work given at the beginning of these discussions is Robin Lakoff's Language and Woman's Place. Robin Lakoff addressed the issue of sexism and bias in language. She followed a different method. She argued that women strengthened their own substatus through many properties of speech, for example hedges and tag questions. However, her work was challenged because it lacked empirical validity. Lakoff stressed that there is a 'female language' used by women who are completely different from those used by men.
When it comes to the theory of domination, it is necessary to mention Dale Spender and her work, Man Made language, which is particularly focused on the silence of women in language. Spender believes that the language women use is under pressure because it is a language produced by men. There are three main problems that stand out in the book: the structuring of the language through the meaning, the silence of women, and the sexism in the language. Spender points out that men have established a reality that they consider themselves the main figure and use language to achieve their own interests.
In a male supremacist society where women are devalued, their language is devalued to such an extent that they are required to be silent. Within this framework, it becomes logical to have one rule for women's talk and another for men because it is the sex-and not just talk-which is significant (Spender, 1980:42-43).
The domination approach based on masculine oppression through language and the silencing of women was opposed by cultural difference theory. According to this understanding, women and men come from different subcultures, socialize differently, and in the future, they carry out their relations according to these different cultural structures. In the development of this understanding, the concept of domination played a major role in the definition of "women's language [as] weak, uncertain, nonassertive" and the fact that women are portrayed as "losers and victims''.
Unlike the notion of domination, which regards men as the norm, the understanding of Cultural Difference theory suggests that women and men are equal and different. Daniel N. Maltz and Ruth A. Borker, who looked at the communication disorders between women and men with the view that men and women came from different cultures, formed this view based on the concept of interethnic communication. Deborah Tannen states that men and women grow up learning different languages within different cultures and that they speak the right way for themselves within their own cultures, and that they try to communicate with the opposite sex in their own language.
The concept of difference is based on the idea that women and men come from different sub-cultures. This assumption is associated with Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen, the reason for misunderstanding between men and women is that they develop different speech styles from different subcultures. In You Just Don't Understand she states: If women speak and hear a language of connection and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can be like cross-cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational styles (Tannen, 2013:42).

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Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/Augst 2020 The fact that the domination and difference approaches have been found insufficient in explaining the relationship between language and gender, means a new approach has come to the fore. Judith Butler who redefined the concept of gender with the understanding of performance, gained importance.
Deborah Cameron points out how feminist language researchers, who are influenced by Judith Butler's perception of gender as performance, use linguistic capabilities to explore how gender is portrayed as performance. Kira Hall, in her research on women working on sex lines in California, discovered the fact that women offer a different identity than their own 'real' identities and that they display it as a performance. Mary Bucholtz emphasizes the link between gender and ethnic identity and emphasizes that language cannot be evaluated separately from gender or ethnic origin.

Man Language and Woman Language
Researchers have repeatedly stated that there are significant differences between the conversations of men and women, and some studies have shown that the linguistic behaviors of men and women are different from each other. Deborah Tannen emphasized these differences by saying, "it can be said that different genderlects are spoken instead of different dialects" (Tannen, 2013: 29).
Gender and language are some of the most controversial issues in the field of sociolinguistics. Research on language and gender began gaining more importance and emphasis after the 1970s. This was the time when women were just coming out of being invisible in the writing world. However, the first stage in gender and language studies goes back to the 1920s, when Otto Jespersen described male language as standard and defined female language as inferior. In response, Robin Lakoff presented a hypothesis, which is called the deficit model. According to Lakoff, social pressure influences women, making their speech powerless; they are placed in a subordinate role during the conversation process. "It is entirely predictable, and given the pressure towards social conformity, rational, that women should demonstrate these qualities in their speech as well as in other aspects of their behavior" (Cameron, 2018: 76).
According to Lakoff language humiliates women because the language system hinders women's way of expressing a worldview and even themselves. Language takes men as the norm and makes women invisible. This means that the reality of the whole world is based on men. Lakoff points out that women experience linguistic discrimination in two ways: in how they use language, and in how it is used about women. Lakoff's article "Language and Woman's Place" is an important work on language and gender studies. In this article, Lakoff argues that women have a different way of speaking from men. She goes on to argue that "language itself is a tool of Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 oppression" (cited in Eckert and McConnell, 2003). According to Lakoff, gender is embedded so thoroughly in the language that it seems natural to us. Lakoff argues that gender differences in language use have evaluative consequences.
Simultaneously, Zimmerman and West developed another qualitative approach for the differences in male-female speech. This considers language differences to reflect traditional social roles. Men's dominance in speech appears through their linguistic behavior. The imbalance of power between the sexes can be observed in conversation. According to this approach, men tend to have higher status than women in societies and accordingly men's use of language 'dominates' over women's language.
In 1982, Daniel N. Maltz and Ruth A. Borker argued, based on the concept of interethnic communication, that the reason for misunderstandings between men and women is that men and women come from different cultures. Deborah Tannen further vulgarized this approach, stating that men and women grow up learning different languages within different cultures, that they speak properly for themselves within their own cultures, and that they try to communicate with the opposite sex in their own language. Anti-essentialist approaches such as ethnomethodology, discursive psychology, social constructionism and conversation analysis make up the fourth phase of gender and language studies. They discuss the idea that gender is socially constructed.
Do women have a more limited vocabulary than men do, or do they use more-or different-adjectives and adverbs? Are women more apt to leave their sentences unfinished? Do they enunciate more properly? Do they use lots of ''superficial'' words? Are their sentences longer, or shorter, than those of men? Do they use more questioning, or uncertain intonation? (Thorne, 1993:12).
Feminist linguists have explored these differences between male and female speech. Women speak more gently, which is a result of their expected social roles. According to the ingrained social rules, women should pay attention to their speech and behavior. Women are more personal when they speak, and they express more feelings than men. Because the public sphere belongs to the man, women will talk about themselves and their feelings. Most feminist linguists believe the saying 'women talk too much' is an exaggerated statement that men set up to silence women. When women try to talk, they are humiliated by such generalizations. This forces women to remain under the influence of men.
It has been observed that euphemisms, which are mild or indirect words or expressions, are used for women more than men. Lakoff notes that the word ''lady'' is used instead of ''woman'' as a euphemism, but there is no similar word for "men". Lakoff also says that the usage of ''lady'' is a way of underestimating or ignoring Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/Augst 2020 women. For example, ''cleaning lady'' demotes the role of a woman. There is a similar situation in the Turkish language and culture. The words ''hanım'' or ''bayan'' are often used instead of "women." In rural areas they prefer to use kinship phrases like ''abla'', ''yenge'', and ''teyze'' instead of "women". Lakoff also states that the word ''boy'' is never used to mean an adult male, but the word ''girl'' is used for "women". Indo-European languages often have different forms of addressing for single and married women like Miss and Mrs. in English, Mademoiselle and Madame in French, and Fraulein and Frau in German. Separate terms do not exist for men.
Theorists William O'barr and Bowman Atkins are known to develop the idea that language differences are specific to the situation. They made a courtroom study in 1980. They examined the 150-hour record in the high crime court in North Carolina in the summer of 1974, looking at how women and men talked over conversations in court. By looking at the characteristics of Lakoff's ''women language'', they concluded that the definition of Lakoff should be re-established. O'barr and Atkins discovered that the differences that Lakoff put forward for woman's language are not the result of being a woman but of being powerless. Therefore, they called this language 'powerless language,' rather than 'women's language.' They discovered that the ''female language'' proposed by Lakoff was used by both men and women, when they were powerless in the courtroom.
William Labov's 1966 social stratification study in New York sought to reveal the differences in language use between women and men through a randomized interview. These people were asked to read a selected text, and data were collected on how they used toning, accent, etc. Labov points out that there is an interaction between people's backgrounds and speech styles. This work was followed by sociolinguistic Peter Trudgill's 1972 Norwich which focused on the different speech patterns between women and men. Perhaps the most useful study, however, was Lesley Milroy's study of three groups from working-class Belfast. In 1975-76, Milroy aimed at finding the factors that determine the use of local everyday language in the conversation process of three groups in Belfast. In this work, Milroy discussed three working groups in Belfast: "Ballymacarrett," "The Hammer" and "The Clonard." Milroy, who joined these groups as a "friend of a friend," wanted to be introduced to friends, relatives and colleagues by a group member. He thus established a network through the connections of the member and had the opportunity to monitor the structure of the group, and the practice of speaking within it. In this way, according to Milroy, the "observer's paradox " was resolved. Although these three groups were from the working class, they differed from one another at certain points. In order to reveal these differences, Milroy gave each person a network score. These three groups were located in different neighborhoods and had different ethnic origins. While men from the Ballymacarrett group worked in local shipyards, they were friends with their colleagues, and it was Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 seen that women from this group went out to work, or young women left the community. In another group, Hammer, the residents were placed in suburbs and apartments. As a result, the tradition of visiting friends was lost and could not be transferred to the next generations. In Clonard, there was a high rate of male unemployment, but on the other hand, many women were reported to be working in this group. The fact that many of these women worked together and had close relations with the local community was a remarkable point. While sharp gender differences were observed in the language in Ballymacarett, the difference between the language used by men and women was less in Hammer. Older Clonard women and men have gender differences in the language they use, while younger generation Clonard men and women use a similar language with Hammer men and women. Milroy points out that local daily language usage is common in groups where local relations are close, and that social relations affect language usage more frequently in working class groups such as Ballymacarett. Milroy underlines the importance of gender as well as class and social networks in language change. (Milroy,1998;193).
Professor Susan Gal conducted a study in a bilingual community in Obertwart in Austria. She focused on language exchange and gender roles in this study. She observed that Hungarian was commonly used by men living in the village after the industrial revolution. In this period women started to work outside the town, and they started to use German. Similar results have been found in a survey conducted by Patricia Nichols on a North Carolina island in 1975Carolina island in -1976. The Black community there stopped using their own language as the relationship with the mainland increased where they preferred Standard English. With the change in the language, the behaviors of these people also changed.
British sociolinguist Jenny L. Cheshire's study of reading examined language use and gender relations in youth and adolescent groups. In this study, Cheshire found that boys are more likely to use non-standard grammar. Penelope Eckert performed another study on two youth groups, which she termed "Jocks" and "Burnouts," observing them at a local high school. Eckert showed the central place occupied by language in establishing an identity as a member of a particular group. In Turkey, Asuman Ağaçsaban conducted a similar study of young people in an institution of secondary education in Eskişehir. Ağaçsaban compared the opinions of female and male students and found that female students tended to use more abstract and subjective expressions, while males used more concrete and objective ones. In her study investigating language differences among the lecturers in the Faculty of Education at Anadolu University, Işıl Açıkalın observed that women and men use different languages and that women use language features that emphasize solidarity more frequently than men do. In Açıkalın's data, men spoke in a more formal way to determine and increase their power and status.

Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi
Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/Augst 2020 Generally, women emerge as fragile, whereas men emerge as powerful. The strength exhibited by men is an indication that they do not have any limitations when speaking or communicating with others. The fragility exhibited by women also affects their conversations. A woman cannot speak out like a man in any society. Women are expected to speak more politely, with more decency and patience. For example, a woman who speaks loudly in the streets is often viewed as wrong in Turkish society. However, men are not blamed for exhibiting this same type of behavior. Women are expected to be more polite even in cases of scolding or reprimand. When a woman gets angry with someone on the street, she may use a few words of condemnation, but a man is more prone to use bad language and society does not condemn this man's behavior. Men can say what they want, but women are expected to be more polite.
In Turkey, especially in rural areas, a new bride does not call her husband by his first name when she speaks with family elders. She refers to him as ''your son" instead of saying ''my husband" or using his name. Similarly, a husband does not call his wife by her name; he uses words like ''your daughter" or ''your daughter in law". It is believed that the voice of the woman is undervalued so that women are not allowed to speak directly to men. This has put some restrictions on the words women use.
In her master's thesis, Ağaçsaban found that although they come from the same social class, female students tend to use standard language more than male students. Trudgill, on the other hand, has found that in the UK, using a regional dialect among the working class is a prestigious situation for men. Spender argues that women are expected to be silent while they are with men. He argues that women are expected to listen and show their approval while men are speaking. While ''talking less'' is considered successful women's behavior, ''effective speech" is seen as a successful form of behavior for men. This means that the two sexes do not have the same rules of speech applied to them.
Professor Candace West approached the doctor -patient relationship in terms of gender and language and conducted a study on this subject. West conducted an analysis of twenty-one records in a family health center in the Southern United States. The results of this analysis revealed that male doctors interrupt their patients during conversations, whereas female doctors spend more time with their patients than male doctors and do not interrupt the patients as often. This study also shows that male patients interrupt female doctors more often.
Social value judgments and gender-dependent role expectations are effective in shaping the language use of men and women. The words and phrases chosen by men and women in language situations reflect these judgments. The use of different language and communication rules for men and women in intracultural communication, as well as in male and female communication, cause different Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 interpretations and misunderstandings. It is also true that many men and women have interpersonal communication problems and often misunderstand each other even when they are attempting to agree.

Findings
All of these conversations took place in the meeting room at the university. The most important reason for this is that the researcher also works at the same university, that is, she could reach the participants easily. Each conversation took, from one hour to two hours, depending on the time allocated by the participants. Observation notes were recorded on the same day after each conversation recording so that the data could be evaluated properly. A total of 780 minutes of conversations were recorded with four groups of university students. However, the sections required for the speech analysis were determined and a total of 65 minutes were put into writing.
Recorded conversation data were analyzed to determine the general characteristics of the conversations of men and women. The method of speech analysis reveals how women establish and maintain a conversation. Jennifer Coates's book Women Talk: Conversations Between Women Friends is a reference book. In this study, it was found appropriate to use transcription markers used by Coates.
To put forward an opinion on the general structure of male and female conversations, it is necessary to look at how their conversations are set up. In this context, it is necessary to look at the structuring of expressions, repetitions, questions, minimal responses, indirect answers and the use of laughter in the conversation process.
As a result of the research, it was observed that male and female students exhibit very different speech characteristics. The research findings are listed below:

3.1.Female students talked more
In this conversation about family communication, based on the speech records, it was determined that the number of words used by female students was higher than male students. Female students used more indirect expressions while male students used more direct expressions. At the same time, female students tend to use more explanatory and detailed expressions, while male students only gave the answer to the question and avoided detailed explanations. Batuhan: When I was a child, my mother used to tell me ''if you drink cold water when you are sweaty, you will get sick.'' I only realized that I should not drink cold water when I am sick.
Hilal: This is a good example, but sometimes/ you can learn something from other people's experiences = Ekrem: =By the way, OUR FOCUS IS ON FAMILY COMMUNICATION, not life experiences. Let's get back to our topic.
Öykü: My family members are also my best friends. Whenever I have a problem, I talk to them. I know very well that they will solve my problems= In the examples above, it was seen that female students talked more. Male students, on the other hand, gave short and direct answers. Female students tried to get the conversation going but they received so little back from the male students.

3.2.Female students are more willing to talk about family communication
The speaker: Are there steps you can take to help improve the quantity and quality of the communication between the members of your family?
Aylin: There are a lot of things to do <smile> We should eat meals together. We should schedule family time= Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020

Ümit: Don't just tell your own wishes and expectations
Aylin: Communication is the expression of feelings, thoughts and experiences between people through verbal and nonverbal means, isn't it?
Damla: Absolutely it is! Tag questions are grammatical constructs where a statement is accompanied by a question clause. Robin Lakoff described tag questions as one of the hallmarks of women's speech. Lakoff suggests that women feel the need to confirm themselves using tag question because they are hesitant to speak.
According to Lakoff, tag question is one of the aspects of women 's speech that demonstrates uncertainty. It is found on the data that female students used tag questions to check the accuracy of their sentences. On the other hand, it was observed that male students hardly ever used the tag questions. Mert: When you can communicate with your family, you become more successful Ali: In the system we call family, each individual shares their good and bad times with each other.

Female students used emphatic stress
One of the characteristics that Robin Lakoff attributes to women's speech is emphatic stress. According to Lakoff emphatic stress shows their powerlessness and weakness because women use a certain language in order to be accepted by their society.
From the conversation, it apparently showed that female students tend to like using emphatic stress. They would like to strengthen their meaning with emphatic stress. They also would like to compare, correct, or clarify things.

Conclusion
The present research, which was based on Lakoff's view that men and women had a number of differences in some ways, analyzed the gender differences in language by speech analysis method. The speech analysis method was used, and it was focused both on investigating and discussing several differences in the language use of both men and women through transcripts. After being transcribed, the data were analyzed from the vocabulary, attitude, syntax, and non-verbal aspects using Lakoff's claims about gender differences in using language. It was observed that there are significant differences in language use between male and female participants.
By its simplest definition, language is the most important, most comprehensive tool that provides communication between people. So, language, thought, and the mind is so interconnected that they cannot be easily separated. Language reflects facts. Thus, the interaction between the mind and language is reciprocal. There are people everywhere where there is language; there is language everywhere where there is a man. Since we are born into language, language is a habit we acquire without being aware of. The most common and accepted thesis on the nature of language is that man mimics natural and animal sounds. People who repeat the sounds hear and begin to make sense of them over time, slowly forming their language. Then it is not wrong to say, "language is shaped by experience". For example, in a region where elephants don't live, there will be no imitation of an elephant's voice. However, in the regions where elephants live, the sounds and movements of elephants will inspire people and thus the differences will occur. With different experiences of societies and seeing the world from different angles, each society's own concepts will emerge. Thus, the concepts, ''language'', ''thought'', ''experience'' are intertwined and inseparable.
The fact that language is intertwined with thought can also explain the difference between societies. The society we are born into teaches us how to see the world. Our native language, which we have been exposed to since our birth, allows us to perceive certain concepts and to create our thoughts through these concepts. Our first experiences are formed by hearing the words conceptualized by the society we are born in. Language begins to prepare the human's view of the world from birth. This is best summarized by Wittgenstein's statement, "The boundaries of my language are the boundaries of my world." Since language speaks of everything that enters the world of man in some way, it emphasizes that language and reality are almost the same. In this case, our native language is the most important tool for looking at the world.
Language and reality cannot be considered independent of each other. Change in one affects the other; so to control language means to control thoughts. According to Sapir and Whorf's linguistic relativity theory, language does not only reveal reality, but it also affects the process of thought. In a sense, language draws a framework for our Akademik Dil ve Edebiyat Dergisi Cilt/Volume: 4, Sayı/Issue: 2, Ağustos/August 2020 thoughts, and it is impossible to think outside this framework. According to Whorf, people do not only use language to communicate, but also the structures in language contribute to the consciousness of people. Language can then be used to create an ideology and to direct the way people think. The language of each society is the product of its own ideology. With that language, the law, perceptions, judgments of that society; that is, the whole perception of reality, is determined. For this reason, language is a very important element for all societies. All social movements take place by taking advantage of the power of language. That is why every ideology has its own discourse.
Historically, the transition to patriarchal order and the emergence of language coincide. Therefore, patriarchy and language are two closely linked phenomena. When the male was socially involved in the outside world, it was also his job to see the outside world and to describe it. The people who need rules, laws and order in the external world have made arrangements in the public domain based on the male. Since the lawmakers are the men who carry out all kinds of tasks in the public and those who express them, language has become their instrument and they have used this tool as they wish. When culture began to be masculine, language became masculine too.
Before women entered the field of writing, authors were naturally perceived as male, and they know that the mass of readers were men. Man has expressed the world he sees and perceives with his own words. The man who adopts himself as a norm, became the "subject" in all vital activities. The woman, however, remained (remains) an object. When a man is defined as a norm, defining a woman as the "other" is seen as a natural condition. So, language is not a neutral phenomenon, it is a tool that is equipped with the meanings of the dominant ideology and plays an important role in its sustenance.
Throughout history, the patriarchal language defined women with concepts such as naturalism, tradition, weakness, magic, seduction, motherhood. Women who are born into these concepts also believe that these are their roles. In light of these facts, it was thought that the masculine language brought by the patriarchal order was the language of the father. For example, Freud believed that such a masculine language is natural, because according to him, the woman is already biologically deficient. For this reason, it is normal for men to be active, women to be passive, and this is reflected in the language. Thus, it is an appropriate process for women to be defined by such adjectives as "passive, calm, adaptable" and men by such adjectives as "active, aggressive". For the girl who learns the superiority of the father/man against her own deficiency, his every behavior is the behavior to be modeled. This includes language. Thus the language acquisition process is connected to biological differences in psychoanalytical theory. These views of Freud later became the basis of feminist critique. Because, according to psychoanalytic theory, language gives an advantage to men and prevents women from creating their own worldview. Man takes over the actions like writing, reading, knowing, talking; and accordingly, the woman's world and therefore her language, is limited. As long as sexist language is used, the difference between women and men is reproduced. Since language is the tool of men, it reflects his experiences, order and worldview. This prevents women from voicing their views. For example, the existence of only men in some social areas will be reflected in the form of such concepts as businessman, man of science, chairman. In such words, it is not easy for a woman to show her own existence. Language, thought, reality, and power, are related concepts.
When women are placed in certain molds through language, another dimension of sexism emerges. A woman loses her self-esteem when she struggles to express herself in her own language. Men, on the other hand, feel comfortable in this area with the assurance of a masculine language. This has revealed differences in male-female speech, which are another aspect of sexism in language. It is a subject that has been mentioned many times by researchers who posit that there are significant differences between the speech of men and women. Women's lack of language to express themselves makes them hesitant to use language. Therefore, because of this sense of insecurity, they speak more hesitantly and are prone to suggestions. Women's more gentle speech is an extension of their expected social role. A woman should pay attention to her behavior and her words. Women speak to express their feelings because the public sphere and intellectual discourse are dominated by men so women will talk about themselves and their feelings. As a result, the woman who tries to find a place in a masculine language under the pressure of the patriarchy will only speak in the manner permitted by the man and will also form her linguistic behavior under his influence. It can be said that gender is often culturally established by traditional methods. The control and auto-control systems established within the traditions of language remain under different names and hinder developments in the field of gender equality.