Child Bride and Feeling of Unworthiness

Abstract

The child bride problem is an ongoing problem, given all legal measures. It is estimated that every year 12 million girls in the developing world made forcefully married. Some research is already conducted on this important topic. However, none of the research is investigated by the child brides’ perspective. Questions such as what are their reactions, feelings, and thoughts, when they heard their parents’ (elderly’s) choice? What happened emotionally before marriage and after marriage? Are not fulfilled. Our ethnographic research in Turkey shows that people who were married at this early age could not develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually and were left incomplete in all respects in the following years. A deeper problem lies in unworthiness. This feeling even exists for those who run away with their choice. They feel disrespected. They need strong psychological support to overcome these dark emotions for gaining their self-respect along with economic, educational, and legal supports. When a girl victim thinks that she does not deserve and the change cannot occur. The stories of these girls are convincing that child marriage should be prohibited, and communities should be aware of the sharp negative shock on girls to stop this human right violation.

Keywords

• Child bride
• ethnography
• emotional experience
• unworthiness

Çocuk Gelin ve Değersizlik Hissi

Abstract

Çocuk gelin sorunu bütün yasal önlemlere rağmen devam etmektedir. Her yıl gelişmekte olan dünyadaki 12 milyon kızın zorla evlendirildiği tahmin edilmektedir. Bu önemli konuda birçok araştırmalar yapıldı. Ancak, hiçbiri çocuk gelinler açısından konuyu incelemedi. Onların ebeveynlerinin (yaşlıların) seçimini duyduklarındaki tepkileri, duyguları, hisleri, açmazları ve düşünceleri araştırıldı. Evlilikten önce ve evlilikten sonra duygusal olarak hangi süreçlerden geçtikleri detaylı şekilde irdelendi. Türkiye’deki çocuk gelin üzerindeki etnografik araştırmamız, bu erken yaşta evlenen insanların fiziksel, duygusal ve ruhsal olarak gelişemediklerini ve sonraki yıllarda her konuda eksik kaldıklarını, üzerlerindeki yıkımı atamadıklarını göstermektedir. Daha derin bir problem değersizlik hissinde yatmaktadır. Değersizlik hissinin temelinde kendi fikrinin sorulmaması, rızasının alınmaması yatmaktadır. Çevrelerindeki herkese karşı; kendi ailelerine, eşlerin ailelerine, kendilerine karşı husumet beslemekteler. Evden kendi istekleriyle de kaçan kızlarda da bu değersizlik fikri hem mevcuttur. Ekonomik, eğitimsel ve yasal desteklerle birlikte öz saygılarını kazanmak ve bu karanlık duyguların üstesinden gelmek için güçlü psikolojik desteğe ihtiyaçları vardır. Bir kız kurban olduğunu ve hak etmediğini düşündükçe değişim yaşanmamaktadır. Bu kızların hikayeleri, çocuk evliliğinin yasaklanması ve toplumların bu insan hakları ihlalini durdurmak için kızlar üzerindeki güçlü olumsuz şokun farkında olmaları gerektiğini göstermektedir.

Keywords

• Çocuk gelin
• etnografi
• duygusal deneyim
• değersizlik

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