Does Forgiveness Affect Marital Satisfaction?

Year 2021, Volume: 6 Issue: 3, 83 - 108, 15.10.2021

Birsen Şahan

https://doi.org/10.37898/spc.2021.6.3.146

Cited By: 2

Abstract

his study determines married couples’ experiences that negatively affected their lives and their relationships and that they have had difficulty forgiving, what they did to overcome these incidents, and how they have reacted to each other. The study also examines the variables predicting spouses’ marital satisfaction. The study employs a nested mixed methods design in which 289 married individuals living in Turkey participated. Of the participants, 97 stated having had an experience with their spouses that they could not forgive. These data were analyzed using content analysis. The Marital Life Scale was administered to determine participants’ marital satisfaction. Stepwise regression analysis was used to determine the variables that predict the participants’ marital satisfaction. The participants’ experiences with their spouses that were difficult to forgive involved neglect and abuse, communication problems and quarrels, problems related to in-laws, distrust and infidelity, economic problems, addictions such as alcohol and gambling, and problems related to sharing household chores. The participants used different methods to solve the problems they have with their spouses. The study has identified having an unforgivable experience and reacting to problems experienced by being cross as the predictive variables of marital satisfaction. Some incidents in married life resulted in marital bonds weakening.

Keywords

Forgiveness, Marital Satisfaction, Couple Relations, Family Relations

References

• Amato, P. R., & Rogers, S. J. (1997). A longitudinal study of marital problems and subsequent divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 59, 612–624.
• Arslantaş, H., Dereboy, İ. F., Aştı, N., & Pektekin, Ç. (2011). Yetişkinlerde profesyonel psikolojik yardım arama tutumu ve bunu etkileyen faktörler (Factors in uencing adults’ psychological help-seeking attitudes). ADÜ Tıp Fakültesi Dergisi, 12(1), 17-23.
• Asen, E., Tomson, D., Young, V., & Tomson, P. (2004). Ten minutes for the family systemic interventions in primary care. London: Routledge.
• Asil, M. R., Abadi, A. S., Ganji, S. I., & Barainian, A. (2014). The effectiveness of forgiveness based consultancy on marital conflicts of women with severe conflicts referring to court in Koohdasht Town. Bulletin of Environment, Pharmacology and Life Sciences, 3(4), 13-19.
• Banaei, M., Aliakbari, S. A., Ghalandari, S., & Eslami, K. (2016). Assess the comparison of marital satisfaction between the abused and nonabused women. International Journal of Medical Research & Health Sciences, 5(11), 617-624.
• Bayraktaroğlu, H., & Çakıcı, E. (2013). Factors related with marital adjustment. Eğitim Araştırmaları-Eurasian Journal of Educational Research, 53/A, 297-312.
• Beşpınar, F. U., & Beşpınar, L. Z. (2017). Türkiye’de hane halkı yapıları ve evlilik pratiklerinde ikili resim: Geleneklerin yanı sıra değişimin yansımaları. Nüfusbilim Dergisi / Turkish Journal of Population Studies, 39, 109-149.
• Bono, G., McCullough, M. E., & Root, L. M. (2008). Forgiveness, feeling connected to others, and wellbeing: Two longitudinal studies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 182–195. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167207310025
• Buehlman, K. T. , Gottman, J. M., & Katz, L. F. (1992). How a couple views their past predicts their future: Predicting divorce from an Oral History Interview. Journal of Family Psychology, 5, 295 – 318.
• Cano, A., & O’Leary, K. (2000). Infidelity and separations precipitate majör depressive episodes and symptoms of nonspecific depression and anxiety. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 68, 774–781.
• Carrère, S., Buehlman, K. T., Gottman, J. M., Coan, J. A., & Ruckstuhl, L. (2000). Predicting marital stability and divorce in newlywed couples. Journal of Family Psychology, 14, 42-58.
• Carter, E., & Orfanidis, M. M. (1976). Family therapy with one person and the family therapist’s own family. In P. J. Guerin. (Ed.), Family therapy (pp. 1993-219). NY: Gardner.
• Clements, M. L., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2004). Before they said "I do": Discriminating among marital outcomes over 13 years. Journal of Marriage and Family, 66(3), 613-626. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.0022-2445.2004.00041.x
• Cooper, J., & Gilbert, M. (2004). The role of forgiveness in working with couples. In C. Ransley and T. Spy (Eds.), Forgiveness and the Healing Process: A central therapeutic concern (pp. 69-85). NY: Brunner-Routledge.
• Creswell, J. W., & Plano Clark, V. L. (2011). Designing and conducting mixed methods research. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
• Dallos, R., & Draper, R. (2010). An introduction to family therapy systemic theory and practice (3rd Ed.). London: Mc Graw Hill Open University Press.
• Demir, Y., & Durmuş, E. (2015). Uzun evlilikler: Bir yastıkta kırk yıl (Long marriages: Forty years in a pillow). Uluslararası Sosyal Araştırmalar Dergisi, 8(36), 636-645.
• Diblasio, F. A., & Proctor, J. H. (1993). Therapists and the clinical use of forgiveness. The American Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 21 (2), 175-184.
• Enright, R., Freedman, S., & Rique, J. (1998). The psychology of interpersonal forgiveness, in R.D. Enright and J. North (Eds), Exploring Forgiveness (pp. 46-63). Madison, WI: University of Wisconsin Press.
• Fenell, D. (1993). Characteristics of long-term first marriages. Journal of Mental Health Counseling,15, 446–460.
• Ferland, F., Fournier, P. M., Ladouceur, P., Brochu, P., Bouchard, M. & Pâquet, L. (2008). Consequences of pathological gambling on the gambler and his spouse. Journal of Gambling Issues, 22, 219-229.
• Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Stellberg-Filbert, J. (2013). Facilitating forgiveness in the treatment of infidelity: An interpersonal model. Journal of Family Therapy, 35, 343-367. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6427.2011.00561.x
• Fincham, F. D. (2000). The kiss of the porcupines: From attributing responsibility to forgiving. Personel Relationships, 7, 1-23.
• Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R., & Davila, J. (2004). Forgiveness and conflict resolution in marriage. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(1), 72–81. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.18.1.72
• Fincham, F. D., Hall, J., & Beach, S. R. H. (2006). Forgiveness in marriage. Current status and future directions. Family Relations, 55, 415-427.
• Fincham, F. D., Paleari, F. G., & Regalia, C. (2002). Forgiveness in marriage: The roles of relationship quality, attributions and emotions. Personal Relationships, 9, 27-37.
• Furman, R., Langer, C. L., & Taylor, D. B. (2010). Analyzing narratives through poetic forms and structures in gerontology: Applying new tools in qualitative research. Journal of Poetry Therapy, 23 (2), 61-71.
• Goldsmith, A., Veum, J. R., & Darity, W. (1997). Unemployment, joblessness, psychological well-being and self-esteem: Theory and evidence. Journal of Socio-Economics, 26 (2), 133-158.
• Gordon, K., & Baucom, D. (1998). Understanding betrayals in marriage: a synthesized model of forgiveness. Family Process, 37(4), 425–540.
• Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2005). Forgiveness in couples: Divorce, infidelity, and couples therapy. In E. L. Worthington (Ed.), Handbook of forgiveness (pp. 407–421). New York: Routledge Taylor & Francis Group.
• Gordon, K. C., Hughes, F. M., Tomcik, N. D, Dixon, L. J., & Litzinger, S. C. (2009). Widening spheres of impact: Forgiveness in Marriage: the role of relationship the role of forgiveness in marital and family functioning. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(1), 1-13. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014354
• Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce? The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. NY and London: Psychology Press.
• Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1999). Rebound from marital conflict and divorce prediction. Family Process, 38(3), 287–292. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.1999.00287.x
• Gottman, J. M. (2000). Why marriages fail. In K. M. Galvin & P. J. Cooper (Eds.), Making connections: Readings in relational communication (2nd ed., pp. 216-223). Los Angeles, CA: Roxbury Publishing Company.
• Gülerce, A. (1996). Türkiye’de ailelerin psikolojik örüntüleri. İstanbul: Boğaziçi Matbaası
• Gülerce, A. (2007). Dönüşümsel aile modeli ve Türkiye’de ailelerin psikolojik örüntüleri. İstanbul: Boğaziçi Matbaası.
• Gülersöyler, S. (2020, 1 Ocak). Acı bilanço: 2019’da 474 kadın öldürüldü! https://www.sozcu.com.tr/2020/gundem/aci-bilanco-2019da-474-kadin-olduruldu-5542146/
• Habibian, N., Taghvaie, D., Abdollahi, M., & Dashti, S. (2015). A comparison between marital satisfaction of addicted spouses visiting addiction treatment centers and marital satisfaction of non-addicted spouses of qom district. Journal of Applied Environmental and Biological Sciences, 5(10S), 42-47.
• Haefner, J. (2014). An application of Bowen family systems theory. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 35, 835–841.
• Hammett, J. F., Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2017). Intimate partner aggression and marital satisfaction: A cross-lagged panel analysis. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 0(0), 1-19. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260517747607
• Homish, G. G., Leonard, K. E., Kozlowski, L. T., & Cornelius, J. R. (2009). The longitudinal association between multiple substance use discrepancies and marital satisfaction. Addiction, 104(7), 1201–1209. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1360-0443.2009.02614.x.
• Huston, T. L., Caughlin, J. P., Houts, R. M., Smith, S. E., & George, L. J. (2001). The connubial crucible: Newlywed years as predictors of marital delight, distress, and divorce. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 237-252.
• Kachadourian, L. K., Fincham, F. & Davila, J. (2004). The tendency to forgive in dating and married couples: The role of attachment and relationship satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 11, 373–393.
• Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, methods, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3-34. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.118.1.3
• Karremans, J. C., Van Lange, P. A., Ouwerkerk, J. W., & Kluwer, E. S. (2003). When forgiving enhances psychological well-being: The role of interpersonal commitment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(5), 1011-1026. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514. 84.5.1011
• Kasapoğlu, F., & Yabanigül, A. (2018). Marital satisfaction and life satisfaction: The mediating effect of spirituality. Spiritual Psychology and Counseling, 3, 177–195. http://dx.doi.org/10.12738/spc.2018.3.2.0048.
• Kerr, M. (1981). Family systems theory and therapy. In A. S. Gurman, & D. P. Kniskern (Eds.), Handbook of family therapy (pp. 226-264). New York: Brunner/Mazel.
• Kearns, J. N., & Fincham, F. D. (2004). A prototype analysis of forgiveness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 838–855.
• Kurter, M. F., Jencius, M., & Duba, J. D. (2004). A Turkish perspective on family therapy: An interview with Hürol Fisiloglu. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 12(3), 319- 323.
• Landmon, J. (2002). Earning forgiveness: The story of a perpetrator, Katherine Ann Power. In S. Lamb and J. C. Murphy (Eds.), Before Forgiving: Cautionary Views of Forgiveness in Psychotherapy (pp. 232-264). Oxford: Oxford University Press.
• Leech, N. L., Barrett, K. C., & Morgan, G. A. (2005). SPSS for intermediate statistics: Use and interpretation. Mahwah, N.J: Lawrence Erlbaum.
• Legaree, T. A., Turner, J., & Lollis, S. (2007). Forgıveness and therapy: A critical review of conceptualizations, practices, and values found in the literature. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(2), 192-213.
• McCullough, M. E., Fincham, F. D., & Tsang, J. (2003). Forgiveness, forbearance, and time: The temporal unfolding of transgression-related interpersonal motivations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(3), 540–557. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.3.540
• McCullough, M. E., & Hoyt, W. T. (2002). Transgression-related motivational dispositions: Personality substrates of the forgiveness and their link to the Big Five. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(11), 1556–1573. https://doi.org/10.1177/014616702237583
• McCullough, M. E., Pargament, K. I., & Thoresen, C. E. (2000). The psychology of forgiveness: History, conceptual issues, and overview. In M. E. McCullough, K. I. Pargament, & C. E. Thoresen (Eds.), Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice (pp. 1–14). New York: Guilford Press
• McGoldrick, M., Gerson, R., & Petry, S. (2008). Genograms: Assessment and intervention (3rd Edition). NY: Norton Professional Books.
• Meredith, W. H., Abbott, D. A., & Adams, S. L. (1986). Family violence: Its relation to marital and parental satisfaction and family strengths. Journal of Family Violence, 1(4), 299-305. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00978274
• Merriam, S. B. (2013). Nitel araştırma: Desen ve uygulama için bir rehber, (S. Turan, Çev. Ed.). Ankara: Nobel Akademik Yayıncılık Eğitim Danışmanlık Tic. Lmt. Şti. (Orijinal baskı, 2009).
• Mirzadeh, M., & Fallahchai, R. (2012). The Relationship between forgiveness and marital satisfaction. Journal of Life Science and Biomedicine, 2(6), 278-282.
• Ng, K. M., Loy, J. T. C., Gudmunson, C. G., & Cheong, W. (2009). Gender differences in marital and life satisfaction among Chinese Malaysians. Sex Roles, 60(1-2), 33-43.
• Obradovic, J., & Cudina-Obradovic, M. (2006). Marital partners' income as a determinant of marriage quality. Journal for General Social Issues. 15, 117-139.
• Oguntayo, R., Okhakhume, A. S., & Aroniyiaso, O. T. (2016). Influence of socio-economic status and marital satisfaction on domestic violence among couples living in Nigeria. International Journal of Applied Psychology, 6(6), 179-184. https://doi.org/10.5923/j.ijap.20160606.03.
• Onaylı, S. (2019). Emotional reactions to infidelity: Examining the roles of self-compassion, forgiveness, rumination and cognitive appraisal. Yayımlanmamış doktora tezi, Middle East Technical University, Ankara.
• Orbuch, T. L., Verhoff, J., Hassan, H., & Horrocks, J. (2002). Who will divorce: A 14-year longitudinal study of black couples and white couples? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 179-202.
• Paleari, F. G., Regalia, C., & Fincham, F. (2005). Marital quality, forgiveness, empathy, and rumination: A longitudinal analysis. Society for Personality and Social Psychology, 31 (3), 368-378. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271597
• Peterson, J. V., & Nisenholz, B. (1991). Orientation to counseling. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn and Bacon.
• Ransley, C. (2004). Forgiveness: Themes and issues. In C. Ransley and T. Spy (Eds.), Forgiveness and the Healing Process a Central Therapeutic Concern (pp. 10-32). NY: Brunner-Rutledge
• Ratra, A., & Kaur, P. (2004). Marital preparedness, marital satisfaction and economic status. Journal of Human Ecology, 15, 27-29. https://doi.org/10.1080/09709274.2004.11905662
• Rogge, R. D., & Bradbury, T. N. (1999). Till violence does us part: The differing roles of communication and aggression in predicting adverse marital outcomes. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 67(3), 340-351. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.67.3.340
• Rogge, R. D., Bradbury, T. N., Hahlweg, K., Engl, J., & Thurmaier, F. (2006). Predicting marital distress and dissolution: Refining the two-factor hypothesis. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 156-159. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.20.1.156
• Rokach, A., & Philibert-Lignières, G. (2015). Intimacy, loneliness & infidelity. The Open Psychology Journal, 8, 71-77.
• Segrin, C., & Flora, J. (2011). Family Communication. NY: Routledge.
• Shortt, J. W., Capaldi, D. M., Kim, H. K., & Laurent, H. K. (2010). The effects of intimate partner violence on relationship satisfaction over time for young at-risk couples: The moderating role of observed negative and positive affect. Partner Abuse, 1(2), 131–152. https://doi.org/10.1891/1946-6560.1.2.131
• Spy, T. (2004). Christianity, therapy and forgiveness. In C. Ransley and T. Spy (Eds.), Forgiveness and the Healing Process a Central Therapeutic Concern (pp. 34-50). NY: Brunner-Rutledge.
• Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., & Whitton, S. W. (2002). Communication, conflict and commitment: Insights on the foundations of relationship success from a national survey. Family Process, 41(4), 659-675. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2002.00659.x
• Stith, S. M., Green, N. M., Smith, D. B., & Ward, D. B. (2008). Marital satisfaction and discord as risk markers for intimate partner violence: A meta-analytical review. Journal of Family Violence, 23, 149-160.
• Turkish Ministry of Family and Social Policies (2006). Aile ve Toplum Hizmetleri Genel Müdürlüğü Türkiye Aile Yapısı Araştırması TAYA 2006.
• https://ailevecalisma.gov.tr/uploads/athgm/uploads/pages/indirilebilir-yayinlar/60-aile-yapisi-arastirmasi-2006.pdf
• Tezer, E. (1996). Evlilik ilişkisinden sağlanan doyum: Evlilik Yaşamı Ölçeği (Marital satisfaction: Marital Life Scale). Türk Psikolojik Danışma ve Rehberlik Dergisi, 2(7), 1-7.
• TurkStat (Turkish Statistical Institute [TÜİK], 2016, November). Cinsiyete göre boşanma nedenleri oranı, 2016 (Proportion of reasons for divorce by sex, 2016). http://www.tuik.gov.tr/PreTablo.do?alt_id=1068.
• Warwar, S., & Malcolm, W. (2010). Emotion-focused couples therapy and the facilitation of forgiveness. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 36(1), 28-42. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2009.00185.x
• Yıldırım, A., & Şimşek, H. (2008). Sosyal Bilimlerde Nitel Araştırma Yöntemleri. Ankara: Seçkin Yayıncılık.
• Yiğit, T. (2016). Erken evlilikleri (çocuk evlilikler) yeniden düşünmek: Erken evliliklerin kavramlaştırılmasına yönelik nitel bir araştırma (Rethinking of early marriages: a qualitative research by conceptualization of early marriages). Akademik Sosyal Araştırmalar Dergisi, 4(36), 386-412. https://doi.org/10.16992/ASOS.11742
• Zilberman, M. L., & Blume, S. (2005). Domestic violence, alcohol and substance abuse. Rev. Bras. Psiquiatr., 27, 51-55.