FROM “JIBARA” TO “CHIQUITA”: CONFESSIONS OF DIS-BELONGING IN ESMERALDA SANTIAGO’S MEMOIRS

Year 2018, Volume: 20 Issue: 3, 315 - 331, 12.11.2018

Esra Çoker

https://doi.org/10.16953/deusosbil.429609

Abstract

This paper by focusing on the intersection
of race, gender and identity as reflected in the three memoirs of the
Puerto-Rican American writer Esmeralda Santiago, When I was Puerto Rican (1993),
Almost a Woman (1998) and The Turkish Lover (2004), attempts to read into the
complex dynamics of the Puerto-Rican migrant female experience. Esmeralda
Santiago’s memoirs that intertwine the problem of transculturation with that of
male dominance and cultural patriarchy rest on her desire to find and sustain a
stable point of reference in a world marked by mobility, transitivity,
discontinuity and fragmentation. The feelings of vulnerability and invisibility
that she constantly experiences within her Puerto-Rican culture and later with
her Turkish lover lead her to resist rather than accept a gendered and
racialized self. However it also leads her to forge an identity “distinct from”
and “in conflict with” the significant Others around her.  In When I was Puerto Rican, she is the black
jibara “Negi” highly critical and at odds with her Puerto/AmeRican island
heritage; in Almost A Woman, she is the lost young female Esmeralda trying to
rise above her mother, family and Nuyorican community; and in the The Turkish
Lover she is the Esmeralda Santiago who learns to judge her own self and others
through the social and racial categories and cultural standards of American
society. This paper asserts that unlike many women autobiographical writers,
Esmeralda Santiago can achieve to create a sense of belonging in her life only
through an assertion of difference and later through the contestation of her
Puerto-Rican female identity.

Keywords

Esmeralda Santiago, Puerto Rican Female Experience, When I was Puerto Rican, Almost a Woman, The Turkish Lover

JİBARA’DAN CHİQUİTA’YA: ESMERALDA SANTİAGO’NUN ANILARINDA BİR YERE AİT OLAMAMANIN İTİRAFLARI

Abstract

Bu makale, Porto Rikolu Amerikalı yazar Esmeralda Santiago’nun, When I was
Puerto Rican (1993), Almost a Woman (1998) ve The Turkish Lover (2004) adlı üç
anı kitabındaki ırk, cinsiyet ve kimlik kavramlarının kesiştiği noktalara
odaklanarak, Porto Rikolu göçmen kadın deneyiminin iç içe geçmiş dinamiklerini
irdelemeye amaçlamaktadır. Kültürler ötesi olma sorununu erkek egemen kültür
yapısıyla birlikte ele alan bu anı kitapları, Esmeralda Santiago’nun
hareketlilik,  geçişkenlik, süreksizlik
ve parçalanmanın hakim olduğu bir dünyada tutarlı bir referans noktası bulma ve
bunu sürdürebilme arzusu üzerine şekillenir. Porto Riko kültürünün yanı sıra
annesi ve sevgilisi ile de yaşadığı kırılganlık ve yok sayılma gibi duygular,
yazarın cinsiyete ve ırka bağlı bir benliği kabul etmesinden ziyade böyle bir
benliğe karşı direnmesine yol açmıştır. Ancak bu durum, değer verdiği kişilerle
çatışan ve onlardan kendini ayrı tutan bir kimliğe bürünmesine de sebep olur.
Yazar, When I was Puerto Rican adlı kitabında hem Porto Rikolu hem de Amerikalı
köklerine eleştirel yaklaşan ve onlara ters düşen “Negi” adlı siyahi bir jibara
olmuşken, Almost a Woman kitabında annesi, ailesi ve Nuyorica topluluğunu
geride bırakmaya çalışan genç Esmeraldaya dönüşür. The Turkish Lover adlı
eserinde ise Amerikan toplumunun sosyal ve ırksal sınıfları ve kültürel
standartları üzerinden kendini ve başkalarını yargılamayı öğrenen bir Esmeralda
Santiago ile karşılaşırız. Bu makale, birçok otobiografik kadın yazarların
aksine, Esmeralda Santiago’nun önceleri bir farklılık iddiası, sonrasında ise
Porto-Rikalı kadın kimliğine karşı verdiği mücadele ile ancak bir aidiyet
duygusu yaratmayı başarabildiğini ileri sürmektedir. 

Keywords

Esmeralda Santiago, When I was Puerto Rican, Almost a Woman, The Turkish Lover, Porto Rikolu Kadın Deneyimi, The Turkish Lover

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