A New Perspective to Parenting Attitude: Compassionate Parenting

Year 2023, , 1924 - 1947, 30.09.2023

Eşref Nas

https://doi.org/10.15869/itobiad.1310451

Abstract

This study aims to discuss parenting attitudes from a new perspective and to raise awareness about compassionate parenting attitudes in terms of families, family counselors, family-child mental health professionals and researchers. Within the scope of this purpose, different styles of parenting were mentioned based on the existing parenting attitudes in the literature. Although it was understood that parenting has been examined in the context of various classifications, it has been revealed that there was six parenting approaches in general, including authoritarian, permissive, indecisive, overprotective, negligent and democratic attitudes. In addition, parenting practices related to parental attitudes were discussed. The importance of parental support and parental control was mentioned in parenting practices. Then, it was determined that some trainings and programs were prepared and presented in order for parents to develop themselves, to gain awareness in terms of child education and raising, to solve family problems on a healthy basis, and to acquire new approaches in preparing their children for the future. In this study, it was considered important to process the concept of compassion within the framework of a parental attitude. Information was presented at the point of understanding the compassionate parenting attitude. In this context, compassionate parenting was summarized as a parent's ability to handle events and situations from the child's perspective, to offer the child the necessary love, care and compassion, and to show sensitivity and understanding to the child's mistakes, failures and inadequacies. Compassionate parenting has been addressed from three aspects: behavioral, emotional, and cognitive. Considering that a compassionate parent can have compassionate goals, the importance of compassionate goals was mentioned. In addition, possible obstacles my arised in the compassionate parenting process were discussed. These barriers were explained by the fact that parents may experience fear of compassion and experience compassion fatigue. Considering these obstacles, self-compassion deemed necessary to be included in the compassionate parenting attitude was mentioned. It has been stated that it is possible for self-compassionate parents to develop compassionate feelings, thoughts and actions both towards themselves and towards their children. Thus, it has been understood that an important part of the compassionate parenting attitude can be explained by the parents being compassionate towards themselves. Finally, potential trainings and programs that can contribute to the development of compassionate parenting attitudes of parents were suggested.

Keywords

Parenting, Parenting Attitudes, Parenting Practices, Parenting Programs, Compassion, Compassionate Parenting

Ebeveynlik Tutumuna Yeni Bir Bakış: Merhametli Ebeveynlik

Abstract

Bu çalışmada ebeveynlik tutumunun yeni bir bakış açısıyla ele alınması ve merhametli ebeveynlik tutumu konusunda aileler, aile danışmanları, aile-çocuk ruh sağlığı çalışanları ve araştırmacılar açısından farkındalık oluşturulması amaçlanmıştır. Bu amaç kapsamında alanyazındaki mevcut ebeveyn tutumlarından hareketle ebeveynliğin farklı stillerinden bahsedilmiştir. Ebeveynliğin çeşitli sınıflandırmalar bağlamında incelendiği anlaşılmakla birlikte genel anlamda otoriter, izin verici, kararsız, aşırı koruyucu, ihmalkâr ve demokratik tutum olmak üzere altı ebeveynlik yaklaşımının bulunduğu ortaya konulmuştur. Ayrıca ebeveyn tutumlarıyla ilişkili olan ebeveynlik uygulamaları ele alınmıştır. Ebeveynlik uygulamaları içinde özellikle ebeveyn desteği ve ebeveyn kontrolünün önemine değinilmiştir. Ardından ebeveynlerin kendilerini geliştirebilmeleri, çocuk eğitimi ve yetiştirme açısından farkındalık kazanmaları, aile içi sorunları sağlıklı bir zeminde çözüme kavuşturmaları ve çocuklarını geleceğe hazırlamada yeni yaklaşımlar edinmeleri amacıyla birtakım eğitim ve programların hazırlanıp sunulduğu tespit edilmiştir. Bu çalışmada merhamet kavramının, bir ebeveynlik tutumu çerçevesinde işlenmesi önemli görülmüştür. Merhametli ebeveynlik tutumunun anlaşılması noktasında bilgi sunulmuştur. Bu bağlamda, merhametli ebeveynlik, bir ebeveynin olayları ve durumları çocuğun bakış açısından ele alabilmesi, çocuğa gerekli sevgi, ilgi ve şefkati sunabilmesi ve çocuğun hata, başarısızlık ve yetersizliklerine karşı duyarlılık ve anlayış gösterebilmesi şeklinde özetlenmiştir. Merhametli ebeveynlik davranışsal, duygusal ve bilişsel olmak üzere üç yönden ele alınmıştır. Merhametli bir ebeveynin, merhamet içeren hedeflere sahip olabileceği göz önünde bulundurularak merhametli hedeflerin öneminden bahsedilmiştir. Bununla birlikte merhametli ebeveynlik sürecinde ortaya çıkabilecek muhtemel engeller ele alınmıştır. Söz konusu engeller, ebeveynlerin merhamet korkusu yaşayabilmeleri ve merhamet yorgunluğunu deneyimleyebilmeleri ile açıklanmıştır. Bu engeller dikkate alınarak merhametli ebeveynlik tutumunda yer alması gerekli görülen önemli bir kavramdan, öz-merhametten bahsedilmiştir. Öz-merhametli ebeveynlerin hem kendilerine karşı hem de çocuklarına yönelik merhametli duygu, düşünce ve eylemler geliştirebilmesinin mümkün olabileceği belirtilmiştir. Böylece merhametli ebeveynlik tutumunun önemli bir parçasının, ebeveynlerin kendilerine karşı merhametli olmalarıyla açıklanabileceği anlaşılmıştır. Son olarak ebeveynlerin merhametli ebeveynlik tutumunu geliştirebilmeleri noktasında katkı sağlayabilecek potansiyel eğitimler ve programlar önerilmiştir.

Keywords

Merhamet, Merhametli Ebeveynlik, Ebeveyn Tutumları, Ebeveynlik Uygulamaları, Ebeveynlik Programları

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