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Ambiguous Boundaries: Mother-Daughter Bond From The Perspective Of Adult Daughter

Year 2022, Volume: 5 Issue: 2, 397 - 426, 30.11.2022
https://doi.org/10.33708/ktc.1161030

Abstract

This article is based on a qualitative research that seeks an answer to the question of how the bond of adult daughters with their mothers within the patriarchal institution and practices of motherhood affects and shapes their gendering processes and personalities. Within the scope of the research, both e-interviews and face-to-face interviews are conducted with eight women whose mothers are alive. The findings on the bond between mother and adult daughters are analysed and interpreted using the feminist object relation theory, which focuses on self-development and, the patriarchal gendering process. The relationship established with the mother is examined in terms of the gendering process and internalized gender roles, and the role of mothers at different stages of their daughters' lives, in terms of the effect of the girls on their relationships with other people. In general, it is possible to categorize the participants as adult daughters who have conflicting and/or consensual relationships with their mothers. In conflictual relationships, where separation from the mother and independence come to the fore as a problem, the daughters try to cope with the relationships that negatively affect them by not objecting to their ties with their mothers, by trying to stay away from the bond or by trying to change the bond. In relatively consensual relationships, mother and adult daughter can establish relationships where there is less interference and where the parties recognize each other's relatively independent existence. Masculine values and social relations that glorify separation and individuation for self-development do not allow for a solidaristic relationship between mothers and daughters that recognizes each other's existence by confining different forms of association, such as commitment and reciprocity, to dependency.

References

  • 1-Acar Savran, G. (2019). Beden Emek Tarih Diyalektik Bir Feminizm İçin. Ankara: Dipnot Yay.
  • 2-Adams, A. (1995). Maternal bond recent literature on mothering. Signs, 20 (2), (pp.414- 427).
  • 3-Alıçlı-Mottram, S.; Hortaçsu N. (2005). Adult daughter aging mother relationship over the life cycle. The Turkish Case Journal of Aging Studies, 19, (pp. 471-488).
  • 4-Ataman, A. (2017). İki "kişilik" düello anayurdu; anne kız çatışması üzerine bir inceleme. Gaziantep University Journal of Social Sciences, 16 (4), (pp.1182-1196), DOI: 10.21547/jss.317129
  • 5-Benjamin, J. (1988). The bonds of love psychoanalysis, feminism, and the problem of nomination. New York: Panthon Books. 6-Bora, A. (1998). Türk modernleşme sürecinde annelik kimliğinin kurulması. (Yayımlanmamış Yüksek Lisans Tezi). Hacettepe Üniversitesi, Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü, Ankara.
  • 7-Bryman, A. (2012). Social research methods. Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press.
  • 8-Bueskens, P. (2021). Introduction: The reproduction of mothering turns forty. P. Bueskens (Der.), Nancy Chodorow and the reproduction of mothering forty years içinde (pp.1-45). Palgrave MacMillan.
  • 9-Caplan, J. P. (2000). Don’t blame mother mending the mother-daughter relationship. New York, London: Routledge.
  • 10-Chodorow, N. (1978). The reproduction of mothering psychoanalysis and the sociology of gender. Berkeley, Los Angeles, London: University of California Press
  • 11-Coulter M. (2010). Institution of Motherhood. İçinde (pp.571-572), O’Reilly A. (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Motherhood 1-3. Los Angeles & London: Sage Publications.
  • 12-Coward, R. (1995). Şu hain kalplerimiz bilmiyor kadınlar erkeklere neden teslim olurlar? A.Bora ve A. Emre (Çev.), İstanbul: Ayrıntı Yayınları
  • 13-Dalsimer, K. (2008). Virgina Woolf: Thinking back through our mothers. Psychoanalytic Inquiry: A Topical Journal for Mental Health Professionals, 24 (5) (pp.713-730), DOI: 10.1080/07351692409349110
  • 14-Douglass, M. J. (2005). An exploration of the relationship between the perception of the mother-daughter relationship, feminist consciousness and self-esteem in the adolescent/young adult daughter. Dissertations, Theses, and Masters Projects. Paper 1550154053. https://dx.doi.org/doi:10.25774/w4-cs7j-pf69 (Erişim tarihi: 21.06.2020).
  • 15-Fallake, K. (1993). Sexual development and the female body in the mother-daughter relationship. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.7-14). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 16-Flax, J. (1993). Mothers and daughters revisited. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.140-151). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 17-Fingerman, K. L. (1997). Being more than a daughter: Middle aged women’s conception of their mothers. Journal of Women and Aging, 9 (7), (pp.55-72). 18-Freud, S. (1976). The complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud vol.1-24 J. Strachey (Der.). W.W. Norton&Company
  • 19-Güler Özgür, E.; Güler, H.; Çiğdem K. (2017). Anne-yetişkin kız ilişkisinin yetişkin kızın yaşam doyumu ve benlik saygısı üzerine etkisinin Adana ilinde incelenmesi. Ç.Ü. Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü̈ Dergisi, 26 (2), (pp.176-188).
  • 20-Hays S. (1996). The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. NewHaven & London: Yale University Press.
  • 21-Jordan, J. (1993). A model of women’s development. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.131-139). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 22-Kenemore, E.; Spira, M. (1996). Mothers and their adolescent daughters: Transitions and transformations. Child and Adolescent Work Journal, 3 (3), 225-240.
  • 23-Liebman J.J. (1990). The Ideology of Mothering: Disruption and Reproduction of Patriarchy. Signs, 15(3) (pp.500-514).
  • 24-Lorber, J.; Coser Laub, R.; Rossi, S. A.; Chorodow, N. (1981). On the Reproduction of Mothering: A methodological debate. Sign Journal of Women in Culture and Society,6 (3), (pp.482-514).
  • 25-Notman, T. M. (2006). Mothers and daughters as adults. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 26 (1), (pp.137-153).
  • 26-Onaylı, S.; Erdur-Baker, Ö. (2013). Anne-kız ilişkisinin yetişkin benliği saygısı ve yaşam doyumuyla ilişkisinin incelenmesi. Turkish Psychological Counseling and Guidance Journal, 5 (40), (pp.167-175).
  • 27-O’Reilly A. (Ed.) (2004). From Motherhood to Mothering. İçinde, The Legacy of Adrienne Rich’s of Women Born. Albany: State University of New York Press.
  • 28-O’Reilly A. (Ed.) (2008). Introduction. Feminist Mothering. Albana: State University of New York Press: (pp.1-24).
  • 29-Rastogi, M.; Wampler, K. S. (1999). Adult daughter’s perceptions of the mother-daughter relationship: A cross cultural comparison. Family Relations, 48 (3), (pp.327-336).
  • 30-Rich, A. (1995). Of woman born motherhood as experience and institution. New York, London: W.W.Norton & Company
  • 31-Short P. (2005). Conclusion: Reflections on Motherhood. Porter M., Short P. & O’Reilly A. (Eds.), Motherhood: Power and Oppression. Toronto: Woman’s Press: (pp.285-294).
  • 32-Shrier, D. K; Tompsett, M.; Shrier, L. A. (2004). Adult mother-daughter relationship: A review of the theoretical and research literature. Journal of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and Dynamic Psychiatry, 32(1), (pp.91-115).
  • 33-Spencer, L.; Ritchie, J.; O’Conner, W. (2003). Analysis: Practices, principles and processes. J.&L., Richie (Der.), Qualitative research practice A guide for social science students and researchers içinde (pp. 199-218). London, Thousand Oaks, New Delhi: Sage Publications.
  • 34-Sprengnether, M. (2021). The impacy of Nancy Chodorow’s the Reproduction of Mothering and its implications for the future. P. Bueskens (Der.), Nancy Chodorow and the Reproduction of Mothering forty years içinde (pp.125-145). Palgrave MacMillan.
  • 35-Stone, A. (2011a). Female subjectivity and mother–daughter relations. Women: A Cultural Review, 22 (2-3), 168-179, http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/09574042.2011.561121
  • 36-Stone, A. (2011b). Mother daughter relations and maternity in Irigiray and Chodorow. philoSOPHIA, 1 (1), (pp. 45-64).
  • 37-Surrey, J. (1993). Traditional perspectives: The problem of mother blaming. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.111-120). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 38-Uslu, D.; Aliyazıcıoğlu, Ö. (2004). Anne-kız ilişkisi temasının sahne tasarımına yansıması. Sanat Dergisi: Atatürk Üniversitesi Güzel Sanatlar Fakültesi, 5, (pp.1-12).
  • 39-Wescott, M. (1978). Mothers and daughters in the world of father. Frontiers A Journal of Women Studies, 3 (2), (pp.16-21).
  • 40-Wodak, R. & Schulz, M. (1986). Mother-daughter relationship from a cross-cultural perspective the language of love and guilt. Amsterdam, Philadelphia: John Benjamin Publishing Company.
  • 41-Yaşartürk, G. (2017). Brave: Anne ve kız çocuğu kendi tarihlerini yazıyor. Kültür ve İletişim, 40, (pp.142-161).

Muğlak Sınırlar: Yetişkin Kızların Perspektifinden Anne-Kız Bağı | Ambiguous Boundaries: Mother-Daughter Bond from The Perspective Of Adult Daughters

Year 2022, Volume: 5 Issue: 2, 397 - 426, 30.11.2022
https://doi.org/10.33708/ktc.1161030

Abstract

Nitel araştırma verilerine dayanan bu makale, yetişkin kızların anneleriyle kurdukları bağın cinsiyetlendirilme sürecini ve kişiliklerini nasıl etkilediği, biçimlendirdiği sorusuna cevap aramaktadır. Nitel araştırma kapsamında anneleri hayatta olan sekiz kadın ile yüz yüze ve e-posta aracılığıyla görüşmeler gerçekleştirilmiştir. Anne ve yetişkin kızları arasındaki bağa dair bulgular, benlik gelişimine ve bununla bağlantılı olarak da patriyarkal cinsiyetlendirilme sürecine odaklanan feminist nesne ilişkileri teorisine başvurularak analiz edilmiş ve yorumlanmıştır. Anneyle kurulan ilişki, cinsiyetlendirme süreci ve içselleştirilen toplumsal cinsiyet rolleri açısından ve annelerin kızlarının hayatlarının farklı aşamalarındaki rolü, kızların diğer kişilerle kurduğu ilişkilere etkisi bakımından incelenmiştir. Genel olarak katılımcıları annesiyle çatışmalı ve uzlaşıya dayalı ilişkiler yaşayan yetişkin kız çocukları olarak kategorize etmek mümkündür. Anneden ayrılmanın, bağımsızlaşmanın sorun olarak ön plana çıktığı çatışmalı ilişkilerde kızlar anneleriyle olan bağlarına itiraz etmeyerek, bağdan uzaklaşmaya çalışarak veya bağı değiştirmeye çalışarak kendilerini olumsuz etkileyen ilişkileriyle baş etmeye çalışmaktadır. Görece uzlaşıya dayalı ilişkilerde ise anne ve yetişkin kız çocuğu daha az müdahalenin olduğu ve tarafların birbirinin bağımsız varlığını kısmen de olsa tanıdığı ilişkiler kurabilmektedir. Benlik gelişimi için ayrılmayı ve bireyselleşmeyi yücelten eril değerler ve toplumsal ilişkiler, farklı ilişkilenme biçimlerini, örneğin bağlılık ve karşılıklılığı bağımlılığa hapsederek anneler ve kızlar arasında birbirilerinin varlıklarını tanıyan, dayanışmacı bir ilişkiye izin vermemektedir.

References

  • 1-Acar Savran, G. (2019). Beden Emek Tarih Diyalektik Bir Feminizm İçin. Ankara: Dipnot Yay.
  • 2-Adams, A. (1995). Maternal bond recent literature on mothering. Signs, 20 (2), (pp.414- 427).
  • 3-Alıçlı-Mottram, S.; Hortaçsu N. (2005). Adult daughter aging mother relationship over the life cycle. The Turkish Case Journal of Aging Studies, 19, (pp. 471-488).
  • 4-Ataman, A. (2017). İki "kişilik" düello anayurdu; anne kız çatışması üzerine bir inceleme. Gaziantep University Journal of Social Sciences, 16 (4), (pp.1182-1196), DOI: 10.21547/jss.317129
  • 5-Benjamin, J. (1988). The bonds of love psychoanalysis, feminism, and the problem of nomination. New York: Panthon Books. 6-Bora, A. (1998). Türk modernleşme sürecinde annelik kimliğinin kurulması. (Yayımlanmamış Yüksek Lisans Tezi). Hacettepe Üniversitesi, Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü, Ankara.
  • 7-Bryman, A. (2012). Social research methods. Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press.
  • 8-Bueskens, P. (2021). Introduction: The reproduction of mothering turns forty. P. Bueskens (Der.), Nancy Chodorow and the reproduction of mothering forty years içinde (pp.1-45). Palgrave MacMillan.
  • 9-Caplan, J. P. (2000). Don’t blame mother mending the mother-daughter relationship. New York, London: Routledge.
  • 10-Chodorow, N. (1978). The reproduction of mothering psychoanalysis and the sociology of gender. Berkeley, Los Angeles, London: University of California Press
  • 11-Coulter M. (2010). Institution of Motherhood. İçinde (pp.571-572), O’Reilly A. (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Motherhood 1-3. Los Angeles & London: Sage Publications.
  • 12-Coward, R. (1995). Şu hain kalplerimiz bilmiyor kadınlar erkeklere neden teslim olurlar? A.Bora ve A. Emre (Çev.), İstanbul: Ayrıntı Yayınları
  • 13-Dalsimer, K. (2008). Virgina Woolf: Thinking back through our mothers. Psychoanalytic Inquiry: A Topical Journal for Mental Health Professionals, 24 (5) (pp.713-730), DOI: 10.1080/07351692409349110
  • 14-Douglass, M. J. (2005). An exploration of the relationship between the perception of the mother-daughter relationship, feminist consciousness and self-esteem in the adolescent/young adult daughter. Dissertations, Theses, and Masters Projects. Paper 1550154053. https://dx.doi.org/doi:10.25774/w4-cs7j-pf69 (Erişim tarihi: 21.06.2020).
  • 15-Fallake, K. (1993). Sexual development and the female body in the mother-daughter relationship. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.7-14). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 16-Flax, J. (1993). Mothers and daughters revisited. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.140-151). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 17-Fingerman, K. L. (1997). Being more than a daughter: Middle aged women’s conception of their mothers. Journal of Women and Aging, 9 (7), (pp.55-72). 18-Freud, S. (1976). The complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud vol.1-24 J. Strachey (Der.). W.W. Norton&Company
  • 19-Güler Özgür, E.; Güler, H.; Çiğdem K. (2017). Anne-yetişkin kız ilişkisinin yetişkin kızın yaşam doyumu ve benlik saygısı üzerine etkisinin Adana ilinde incelenmesi. Ç.Ü. Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü̈ Dergisi, 26 (2), (pp.176-188).
  • 20-Hays S. (1996). The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. NewHaven & London: Yale University Press.
  • 21-Jordan, J. (1993). A model of women’s development. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.131-139). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 22-Kenemore, E.; Spira, M. (1996). Mothers and their adolescent daughters: Transitions and transformations. Child and Adolescent Work Journal, 3 (3), 225-240.
  • 23-Liebman J.J. (1990). The Ideology of Mothering: Disruption and Reproduction of Patriarchy. Signs, 15(3) (pp.500-514).
  • 24-Lorber, J.; Coser Laub, R.; Rossi, S. A.; Chorodow, N. (1981). On the Reproduction of Mothering: A methodological debate. Sign Journal of Women in Culture and Society,6 (3), (pp.482-514).
  • 25-Notman, T. M. (2006). Mothers and daughters as adults. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 26 (1), (pp.137-153).
  • 26-Onaylı, S.; Erdur-Baker, Ö. (2013). Anne-kız ilişkisinin yetişkin benliği saygısı ve yaşam doyumuyla ilişkisinin incelenmesi. Turkish Psychological Counseling and Guidance Journal, 5 (40), (pp.167-175).
  • 27-O’Reilly A. (Ed.) (2004). From Motherhood to Mothering. İçinde, The Legacy of Adrienne Rich’s of Women Born. Albany: State University of New York Press.
  • 28-O’Reilly A. (Ed.) (2008). Introduction. Feminist Mothering. Albana: State University of New York Press: (pp.1-24).
  • 29-Rastogi, M.; Wampler, K. S. (1999). Adult daughter’s perceptions of the mother-daughter relationship: A cross cultural comparison. Family Relations, 48 (3), (pp.327-336).
  • 30-Rich, A. (1995). Of woman born motherhood as experience and institution. New York, London: W.W.Norton & Company
  • 31-Short P. (2005). Conclusion: Reflections on Motherhood. Porter M., Short P. & O’Reilly A. (Eds.), Motherhood: Power and Oppression. Toronto: Woman’s Press: (pp.285-294).
  • 32-Shrier, D. K; Tompsett, M.; Shrier, L. A. (2004). Adult mother-daughter relationship: A review of the theoretical and research literature. Journal of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis and Dynamic Psychiatry, 32(1), (pp.91-115).
  • 33-Spencer, L.; Ritchie, J.; O’Conner, W. (2003). Analysis: Practices, principles and processes. J.&L., Richie (Der.), Qualitative research practice A guide for social science students and researchers içinde (pp. 199-218). London, Thousand Oaks, New Delhi: Sage Publications.
  • 34-Sprengnether, M. (2021). The impacy of Nancy Chodorow’s the Reproduction of Mothering and its implications for the future. P. Bueskens (Der.), Nancy Chodorow and the Reproduction of Mothering forty years içinde (pp.125-145). Palgrave MacMillan.
  • 35-Stone, A. (2011a). Female subjectivity and mother–daughter relations. Women: A Cultural Review, 22 (2-3), 168-179, http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/09574042.2011.561121
  • 36-Stone, A. (2011b). Mother daughter relations and maternity in Irigiray and Chodorow. philoSOPHIA, 1 (1), (pp. 45-64).
  • 37-Surrey, J. (1993). Traditional perspectives: The problem of mother blaming. J. von Mensverhubt, K. Schreurs & L. Woertman (Der.), Daughtering & mothering female subjectivity reanalysed içinde (pp.111-120). London& New York: Routledge.
  • 38-Uslu, D.; Aliyazıcıoğlu, Ö. (2004). Anne-kız ilişkisi temasının sahne tasarımına yansıması. Sanat Dergisi: Atatürk Üniversitesi Güzel Sanatlar Fakültesi, 5, (pp.1-12).
  • 39-Wescott, M. (1978). Mothers and daughters in the world of father. Frontiers A Journal of Women Studies, 3 (2), (pp.16-21).
  • 40-Wodak, R. & Schulz, M. (1986). Mother-daughter relationship from a cross-cultural perspective the language of love and guilt. Amsterdam, Philadelphia: John Benjamin Publishing Company.
  • 41-Yaşartürk, G. (2017). Brave: Anne ve kız çocuğu kendi tarihlerini yazıyor. Kültür ve İletişim, 40, (pp.142-161).
There are 39 citations in total.

Details

Primary Language Turkish
Journal Section Articles
Authors

Meral Salman Yıkmış 0000-0002-0332-5084

Publication Date November 30, 2022
Submission Date August 11, 2022
Published in Issue Year 2022 Volume: 5 Issue: 2

Cite

APA Salman Yıkmış, M. (2022). Muğlak Sınırlar: Yetişkin Kızların Perspektifinden Anne-Kız Bağı | Ambiguous Boundaries: Mother-Daughter Bond from The Perspective Of Adult Daughters. Akdeniz Kadın Çalışmaları Ve Toplumsal Cinsiyet Dergisi, 5(2), 397-426. https://doi.org/10.33708/ktc.1161030

Dergide yayımlanan tüm çalışmalar, kamu ve tüzel kişilerce, gerekli atıflar verilmek koşuluyla kullanıma açık olup dergide yayımlanmış çalışmaların tüm sorumluluğu yazarlarına aittir.