Mevlâna’nın Hoşgörü Felsefesi ve İletişim

İletişim kurmak insanoğlunun en temel ihtiyaçlarından birisidir. Genel olarak insanlar duygu, düşünce ve hislerini paylaşmak isterler. Kişilerarasıiletişim kurarken mesajlarıgönderen konumunda olan kaynak, zihninden geçen mesajıkodlayarak alıcıya kanal vasıtasıile iletir, alıcımesajıçözümleyip geribildirimde bulunur ve alıcıkaynak; kaynak alıcıdeğişim sürecinde iletişim gerçekleşir. İletişim kurmak teorik olarak basit gibi görünse de sağlıklıiletişim kurmayıengelleyen birçok unsur vardır. Bu unsurlar fiziksel, teknik, psikolojik ya da sosyal ve örgütsel olarak sınıflandırılabilir Sabuncuoğlu ve Gümüş, 2008:175 . Kaynak tarafından iletilen mesajın, alıcıtarafından tam anlamıyla çözümlenmesi ve alıcının gönderdiği geri bildirimin de aynı şekilde kodlanıp, kaynak tarafından tam manasıyla çözümlenmesi teoride kolay görünse de uygulama da bu kadar basit değildir. Gelişen teknoloji ile birlikte değişen şehir yaşamıve bireysel hayat tarzlarıkültürel farklılıkların ortaya çıkmasına sebep olmuştur. Kültürel farklılıklar gösteren bireyler arasında iletişim kurma çabalarıazalmıştır. Her birey kendi yaşam tarzının daha iyi olduğunu, karşıtarafın davranışlarının doğru olmadığınısavunurken, en küçük bir farklılık bile sorun haline getirilmeye başlamıştır. Bireylerin yaşam kültürünün içerisine dini inanışları, giyim tarzları, yemek çeşitleri, ev döşemeleri, izledikleri programlar, dinledikleri müzik gibi birçok unsurlar dâhil edilebilir. Bu unsurlar bireylerin kendi tercihleridir ancak günümüzde ötekileştirme diye de tabir edebileceğimiz bir yaklaşım söz konusudur. İnsanlar kendileri gibi görünmeyen ve düşünmeyen kimselerle zorunlu olmadığıhallerde görüşmekten ya da iletişim kurmaktan kaçınmaya çalışmaktadırlar. Bu bağlamda, etkili iletişim kurmayıengelleyen unsurlar olmasına rağmen, zihnimizden geçen mesajıtam manasıyla iletememenin ya da alıcıolarak kaynağın gönderdiği mesajıçözememekten kaynaklanabilen iletişim çatışmalarınıen asgari düzeye indirmenin bir yolu da Mevlâna’nın hoşgörü felsefesini anlamaya çalışmaktır. Mevlâna, dil, din, ırk, inanç, meslek ve sınıf ayrımıyapmadan, insanların farklılıklarına saygıve sevgi ile yaklaşarak derin hoşgörü anlayışıile her daim diyalog kurmaya çalışmıştır. Bu çalışma da sağlıklıiletişim kurmada Mevlâna’nın felsefesi ile birlikte, hoşgörünün yeri, etkisi ve önemi incelenecektir.

Communication is one of the most basic needs of human beings. Generally, humans want to share their emotions, thoughts and feelings with the others around. In interpersonal communication, source codes the messages then sends the coded message by channel to the receiver, receiver decodes the message and then sends feedback, thus receiver becomes source, source becomes receiver, by this way, and communication process exists. Although communication process seems easy, there are lots of factors that prevent effective and healthy communication. These factors can be classified under the headings of physical, technical, psychological or social and organizational Sabuncuoğlu ve Gümüş, 2008:175 . Even if decoding of the message sent by the source and also decoding of the feedback sent by the receiver seem easy theoretically, communication process, practically, is not as easy as it theoretically seems. Communication devices are widely spreading and developing so fast today. When we go to the past just a little back in time, although it used to take such a long time to send news from one city to another and to communicate between them, now it is possible to communicate from one village to another country via video and voice calls. When we think of our recent times, I think, noone would ever have imagined that communication devices would develop to such extent. However, although the development of communication devices has given us the opportunity to communicate with larger groups, face-to-face communication and a healthy communication has worsened deeply. In the past, people used to visit each other in the same neighborhood, solve their problems and share their joy altogether, today people are too far from talking to each other even within the family in the same house and from sharing their troubles. As it is emphasized in Martin Luther King’s words, we learnt to fly as birds, swim as fish, but we did not learn the art of living as brothers, technology is developing day by day but effective and healthy human relations are being lost inversely. One of the basic problems of developed and developing societies is the failure of healthy communication. By the developing technology, the changing city life and individual life styles have caused cultural variations. Being in a struggle for communication between the individuals that show cultural variations is decreased. Each individual defends his/her own life style is better but the other sides’ behaviors is not good, thus the slight differences create problems. Religion, dressing styles, food styles, furnishings, TV programs, music styles and such factors can be included in the individuals’ life culture. Those factors are the own choice of them but today there is a tendency that can be named as alienation which can be described as humans avoidance to contact with the ones that do not seem and think as them except the force majeure. Humans are better to see the cultural differences as variations instead of alienating people they are communicating with according to their life styles. Even if the other side is faulty, it is better to warn him/her smoothly. Such a smooth behavior will supply the required amendment even if the other side is obstinate. In this regard, there are factors that prevent effective and healthy communication that one of the ways to minimize the communication conflicts occurring as a result of not transferring the message in our mind in the strict sense or not being able to decode the message sent by source to the receiver is trying to understand the tolerance philosophy of Mawlana. Mawlana puts up arrogance, pride and hatred in human relations and always tolerates the created because of the Creator as expressed in the words by Yunus Emre. People, who have a sincere love for Allah in their hearts, love all humans naturally and approach them with a tolerance. If we intend to deliver our messages in our mind via heatlhy communication, it is important to tolerate misunderstandings, to repeat when an explanation is needed and to express our intention in different ways as a source. And as a receiver, it is important to try to understand the message delivered by the source and to realize what the message is and why it is delivered. Here, tolerance and human love are essential. Both terms are integrated and it is not possible to separate them. If someone does not have any love for humans, then no tolerance is expected. People with no tolerance have no love for humans. In one of his sayings, Mawlana emphasizes how we should see the world, “if you know how to look, you can see a rose among the thorns, it is everyone who can see a rose without a thorn”. Making a great emphasis on love in human relations, Mawlana also offers a formula for a meaningful and satisfactory life in these words: “We do love, that’s why our life is so good to us; we do believe, that’s why our experiences are so nice to us”. Besides, these problems will soon vanish naturally if people learn to see these differences as a change instead of otherizing the people they communicate by judging on their lifestyles. When there are even faulty cases, it will lead to a desired change to warn the people about their behaviors that it damages other people and hurts them in an appropriate way of expression, no matter how stubborn they are in their behaviors. Our proverb “Soft word turneth away wrath” supports the power of using an appropriate language. On the other hand, everyone may have faults and no one is perfect, as stated also by Mawlana, “He, who seeks for a friend without a fault, remains without one”. In this view, it will enable us a better communication to approach people with tolerance instead of seeking for their faults in our view while talking to them. Another sentence expressed by Mawlana as an example to his vast tolerance, “If you seek for good, people will have no bad”, is still valid for people all around the world. Mawlana asks the people around him, “What do you see when you look at a white dress with a large black spot on it?”. The Sufis’ answer is that they see a white dress, not a black spot. Sufi people do not care about