Sosyal Alerjenler ve Kişilerarası İletişim Arasındaki İlişki: Kuramsal Bir Değerlendirme

Year 2022, , 55 - 79, 29.06.2022

Gözde Yılmaz , Emel Yılmaz

https://doi.org/10.31123/akil.1079546

Abstract

Kişilerarası iletişimi olumsuz etkileyen bireylere itici gelen davranışlar oldukça yaygındır. Bu itici davranışlar arasında ilk bakışta diğer kişilere önemsizmiş gibi görünen ancak sürekli maruz kalınınca güçlü olumsuz duygular uyandıran davranışlar, sosyal alerjenler olarak isimlendirilmektedir. Bu davranışlar müdahaleci kıskançlıklardan, sürekli eleştirmeye, ihtiyaç duyulan ilginin gösterilmemesinden, randevularına geç kalmaya, görgü kurallarını ihlal etmekten, başkaları hakkında dedikodu yapmaya ya da yalan söylemeye kadar uzanmaktadır. Kişilerin önemsizmiş gibi görünen bu ve benzeri davranışları sürekli tekrarlamaları, maruz kalan bireylerde rahatsızlık yaratır ve bu tür davranışlara karşı sosyal alerji olarak isimlendirilen aşırı duygusal tepkiler ortaya çıkarabilir. Kişilerarası ilişkilerde sıklıkla yaşanmasına, rahatsızlık verici olmasına ve ilişkiden kaçınmaya yol açan özelliklerine rağmen sosyal alerjenlere ilişkin araştırmaların sınırlı olması ve Türkçe kişilerarası iletişim yazınında ise hiç yer almaması önemli bir eksikliktir. Bu makalede, kişilerarası itici davranışların bir alt kümesi olarak nitelenen, kişide güçlü olumsuz duygular uyandıran ve karşılıklı anlam üretimini olumsuz etkileyen sosyal alerjenler, bu alerjenlere verilen duygusal tepkiler ve kişilerarası iletişimle ilişkileri ele alınmıştır. Makale ile kişilerarası iletişim alan yazınında görece yeni bir kavram olan sosyal alerjenlerin kişilerarası iletişimle ilişkisi konusunda yapılacak diğer bilimsel çalışmalara literatür taraması aracılığıyla temel teşkil edecek kuramsal bir çerçevenin sunulması amaçlanmaktadır.

Keywords

Kişilerarası İletişim, Sosyal Alerjenler, Duygular

Relationship Between Social Allergens and Interpersonal Communication: A Theoretical Evaluation

Abstract

Aversive behaviors that affect interpersonal communication negatively are quite common. Among these aversive behaviors, there are seemingly minor behaviors, having the potential to elicit strong emotions when exposed constantly, which are called social allergens. These behaviors range from possessive jealousy, constant criticism, lack of needed attention, being late for appointments, violating etiquette, gossiping to lying about others. Repetitions of these seemingly insignificant behaviors and similar behaviors create discomfort in the exposed individual and can cause extreme emotional reactions, called social allergies, against such behaviors. Although social allergens are frequently experienced in interpersonal relationships and can cause annoyance and withdrawal from the relationship, the limited research on social allergens and the dearth of studies in the Turkish interpersonal communication literature is an important shortcoming. In this article, social allergens, a subset of aversive interpersonal behaviors, which arouse strong negative emotions and negatively affect the production of mutual meaning, and emotional reactions to these allergens and their realtionship with interpersonal communication was discussed. This article aims to provide a fundamental theoretical framework to other scientific studies which will deal with the relationship between social allergens, a relatively new concept in interpersonal communication literature, and interpersonal communication by reviewing the literature.

Keywords

Interpersonal Communication, Social Allergens, Emotions.

References

• Acton, S. G. (1999). Interpersonal Theory and Circumplex Structure (Yayımlanmamış Doktora Tezi). Northwestern University, Illinois.
• Afifi, W. and Burgoon, J. (2000). The impact of violations on uncertainty and the consequences for attractiveness. Human Communication Research, 26(2), 203–233.
• Akyunus, M. ve Gençöz, T. (2016a). Kişilik bozukluğu inanışlarının Kişilerarası Döngüsel Model üzerindeki temsili. Turkish Journal of Psychology, 31, 1-7.
• Akyunus, M. ve Gençöz, T. (2016b). Kişilerarası problemler envanteri- döngüsel ölçekleri kısa formu psikometrik özellikleri: bir güvenirlik ve geçerlik çalışması. Düşünen Adam, The Journal of Psychiatry and Neurological Sciences, 29(1), 36-48.
• Andrews, J. (1991). The active self in psychotherapy. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
• Aronson, E. and Linder, D. (1965). Gain and loss of esteem as determinants of interpersonal attraction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 1, 156-171.
• Barbee, A. P. and Cunningham, M. R. (1995). An experimental approach to social support communications: Interactive coping in close relationships. Communication Yearbook, 18, 381-413.
• Baumeister, R. F. and Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.
• Birditt, K. S., Miller, L. M., Fingerman, K. L. ve Lefkowitz, E. S. (2009). Tensions in the parent and adult child relationship: Links to solidarity and ambivalence. Psychology and Aging, 24(2), 287–295.
• Burleson, B. R., Albrecht, T.L. ve Sarason, I. G. (1994). Communication of Social Support: Messages, Interactions, Relationships, and Community. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
• Cameron, J. J., Ross, M. ve Holmes, J. G. (2002). Loving the one you hurt: Positive effects ofrecounting a transgression against an intimate partner. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 307–314.
• Cloven, D. H. ve Roloff, M. E. (1994). A developmental model of decisions to withhold relational irritations in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 1, 143-164.
• Crowley, J. L. High, A. C. ve Thomas, L. J. (2019). Desired, Expected, and Received Support: How Support Gaps Impact Affect Improvement and Perceived Stigma in the Context of Unintended Pregnancy. Health Communication, 34(12), 1441-1453
• Cunningham, M. R. (2009). Social Allergies. H. T. Reis ve S. Sprecher (Ed.). Encyclopedia of Human Relationships I (s. 1511-1513) içinde. California: Sage.
• Cunningham, M. R., & Barbee, A. P. (2000). Social support in close relationships. In C. Hendrick & S. Hendrick (Eds.), Close relationships: A sourcebook (s. 273–285). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
• Cunningham, M. R., Barbee, A. P. ve Druen, P. B. (1997). Social allergens and the reactions that they produce: Escalation of annoyance and disgust in love and work. In: R. M. Kowalski (Ed.), Aversive interpersonal behaviors (s. 189–214). New York, NY: Plenum.
• Cunningham, M. R., Barbee, A. P. ve Mandal, E. (2009). Hurt feelings and the workplace. In: A. L. Vangelisti (Ed.), Feeling hurt in close relationships (s. 417–456). New York, NY: Cambridge University Press.
• Cunningham, M. R., Shamblen, S. R., Barbee, A. P. ve Ault, L. K. (2005). Social allergies in romantic relationships: Behavioral repetition, emotional sensitization, and dissatisfaction in dating couples. Personal Relationships, 12(2), 273-295.
• Cupach, W. R. and Spitzberg, B. H. (1994). The dark side of interpersonal communication. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
• Feingold, A. (1994). Gender differences in personality: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 116, 429–456.
• Felmlee, D. H. (2001). From appealing to appalling: Disenchantment with a romantic partner. Sociological Perspectives, 44(3), 263–280.
• Fingerman, K. L. (1996). Sources of tension in the aging mother and adult daughter relationship. Psychology and Aging, 11, 591–606.
• Floyd, K. (2006). Communicating Affection-Interpersonal Behavior and Social Context. UK: Cambridge University Press.
• Goldsmith, D. J. and Albrecht, T. L. (2011). Social support, social networks, and health. In: T. L. Thompson, R. Parrott. and J. F. Nussbaum (Ed.). The Routledge Handbook of Health Communication (pp. 335–348), New York: Routledge.
• Goleman, D. (2016). Sosyal Zeka İnsan İlişkilerinin Yeni Bilimi. Apple Books.
• Gurtman, M. B. and Lee, D. L. (2009). Sex differences in inter- personal problems: A circumplex analysis. Psychological Assessment, 21, 515-527.
• Halpern, D. and Katz, J. E. (2017). Texting's consequences for romantic relationships: A cross-lagged analysis highlights its risks. Computers in Human Behavior, 71, 386–394.
• High, A. C. and Crowley, J. L. (2018). Gaps Among Desired, Sought, and Received Support: Deficits and Surpluses in Support When Coping With Taboo Marital Stressors. Communication Research, 45(3), 319–338.
• Hopwood, C. J., Ansell, E. B., Pincus, A. L., Wright, A. G. C., Lukowitsky, M. R. and Roche, M. J. (2011). The Circumplex Structure of Interpersonal Sensitivities. Journal of Personality, 79(4), 707–740.
• Horowitz, L. M., Wilson, K. R., Turan, B., Zolotsev, P., Constantino, M. J. ve Henderson, L. (2006). How interpersonal motives clarify the meaning of interpersonal behavior: The revised circumplex model. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10, 67–86.
• İmamoğlu, S. (2008). Genç yetişkinlikte kişilerarası ilişkilerin cinsiyet, cinsiyet rolleri ve yalnızlık algısı açısından incelenmesi (Yayımlanmamış Doktora Tezi). Marmara Üniversitesi Eğitim Bilimleri Enstitüsü, İstanbul.
• Kiesler, D. J. (1996). Contemporary interpersonal theory and research: Personality, psychopathology, and psychotherapy. New York: John Wiley & Sons.
• Knobloch, L. K. and Theiss, J. A. (2011). Relational Uncertainty and Relationship Talk within Courtship: A Longitudinal Actor-Partner Interdependence Model. Communication Monographs, 78(1), 3-26.
• Kowalski, R. M. (1997). Aversive interpersonal behaviors. New York: Plenum Press.
• Kowalski, R. M. (2001a). Behaving badly: Aversive behaviors in interpersonal relationships. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
• Kowalski, R. M. (2001b). Aversive interpersonal behaviors: On being annoying, thoughtless, and mean. In: R. M. Kowalski (Ed.), Behaving badly: Aversive behaviors in interpersonal relationships (pp. 3–26). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
• Lambert, J. C. and Hopwood, C. J. (2016). Sex differences in interpersonal sensitivities across acquaintances, friends, and romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 89, 162–165.
• Lavy, S., Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P. R. and Gillath, O. (2009). Intrusiveness in romantic relationships: A cross-cultural perspective on imbalances between proximity and autonomy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26, 989-1008.
• Leary, M. R., Diebels, K. J., Jongman-Sereno, K. P. and Fernandez, X. D. (2015). Why Seemingly Trivial Events Sometimes Evoke Strong Emotional Reactions: The Role of Social Exchange Rule Violations. The Journal of Social Psychology, 155(6), 559–575.
• Leary, M. R., Estrada, M. J. and Allen, A. B. (2009). The Analogue-I and the Analogue-Me: The Avatars of the Self. Self and Identity, 8, 147–161.
• Leary, T. (1957). The interpersonal diagnosis of personality. New York: Ronald.
• Levine, T.R., Anders, L. N., Banas, J., Baum, K. L., Endo, K., Hu, A. D. et al. (2000). Norms, expectations, and deception: A norm violation model of veracity judgments. Communication Monographs, 67, 123–137.
• Liu, E. and Roloff, M. E. (2016). Regret for Complaint Withholding. Communication Quarterly, 64(1), 72-92.
• Markey, P. M., Funder, D. C. and Ozer, D. J. (2003). Complementarity of interpersonal behaviors in dyadic interactions. Pers Soc Psychol Bull, 29(9), 1082-1090.
• McLaren, R. M. and High, A. C. (2019). The Effect of Under- and Over-Benefited Support Gaps on Hurt Feelings, Esteem, and Relationships. Communication Research, 46(6), 785-810.
• Metts, S. and Cupach, W. R. (2007). Responses to relational transgressions: Hurt, anger, and sometimes forgiveness. In: B. H. Spitzberg and W. R. Cupach (Eds.), The dark side of interpersonal communication, 2nd Edition (pp. 243–273). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
• Metts, S., Morse, C. and Lamb, E. (2001). The influence of relational history on the management and outcomes of relational transgressions. Paper presented at the convention of the National Communication Association. Atlanta, GA.
• Metts, S., Pensinger, A. and Cupach, W. R. (2001, April). How could you? Relational transgressions, redressive actions, and forgiveness. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the Central States Communication Association, Cincinnati, OH.
• Miller, C. W. and Reznik, R. M. (2009). Social allergens in the workplace: Exploring the impact of emotion, perception of the allergen, and repair work on confrontation frequency and relational well-being. NCA 95th Annual Convention, 12-15 November 2009, Chicago, IL, USA.
• Miller, C. W. (2016). Social Allergens. In: C. R. Berger and M. E. Roloff (Eds), The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication, 1st Edition (pp. 1-9). John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
• Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G. and Griffin, D. W. (1996). The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(1), 79–98. O’Connor, B. P. (2011). Social allergens. In: L. M. Horowitz and S. Strack (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal psychology: Theory, research, assessment, and therapeutic interventions (pp. 269–280). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
• Ohbuchi, K. I., Tamura, T., Quigley, B. M., Tedeschi, J. T., Madi, N., Bond, M. H. and Mummendey, A. (2004). Anger, Blame, and Dimensions of Perceived Norm Violations: Culture, Gender, and Relationships. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 34(8), 1587–1603.
• Özer, Ö. ve Öz, B., (2018). Sürücü davranışlarının kişiler arası döngüsel model üzerindeki temsilleri. AYNA Klinik Psikoloji Dergisi, 5, 32-49.
• Priem, J. S., McLaren, R. M. and Solomon, D. H. (2010). Relational messages, perceptions of hurt, and biological stress reactions to a disconfirming interaction. Communication Research, 37, 48-72.
• Reznik, R. M. and Miller, C. W. (2015). Social Allergens in the Workplace:Exploring the Effect of Perception and Emotion on Frequency of Confrontation and Relational Well-Being, The Electronic Journal of Communication, 25(3-4).
• Roberts, J. A. and David, M. E. (2016). My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners. Computers in Human Behavior, 54, 134–141.
• Roloff, M. E. and Cloven, D. H. (1990). The chilling effect in interpersonal relationships: The reluctance to speak one's mind. In: D. D. Cahn (Ed.), Intimates in conflict: A communication perspective (pp. 49–76). USA: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Inc..
• Shamblen, S. R. (2004). "My partner wasn't so disgusting when we fifirst started dating, what happened?": an exploration of change processes in close relationships and their causes (Yayımlanmamış Doktora Tezi). University of Louisville Graduate School, Louisville.
• Solomon, D. H. and Samp, J. A. (1998). Power and problem appraisal: Perceptual foundations of the chilling effect in dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15(2), 191-209.
• Spitzberg, B. H. and Cupach, W. R. (1998). The dark side of close relationships. USA: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.
• Spitzberg, B. and Cupach, W. (2014). The dark side of relationship pursuit: From attraction to obsession and stalking. New York: Routledge.
• Sprecher, S. and Duck, S. (1994). Sweet talk: The importance of perceived communication for romantic and friendship attraction experienced during a get-acquainted date. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 20, 391–400.
• Sprecher, S. and Hendrick, S. S. (2004). Self-disclosure in intimate relationships: Associations with individual and relationship characteristics over time. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23(6), 857-877.
• Stavrova, O., Ehlebracht, D. and Vohs, K. D. (2020). Victims, Perpetrators, or Both? The Vicious Cycle of Disrespect and Cynical Beliefs About Human Nature. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 149(9), 1736–1754.
• Taylor, S. E., Klein, L. C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R. and Updegraff, J. A. (2000). Biobehavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-and-befriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107, 411–429. Ter Laak, J. J. F., Olthof, T. and Aleva, L. (2003). Sources of annoyance in close relationships: Sex-related differences in annoyance with partner behaviors. The Journal of Psychology, 137(6), 545-559.
• Theiss, J. A. and Knobloch, L. K. (2009). An Actor-Partner Interdependence Model of Irritations in Romantic Relationships. Communication Research, 36(4), 510–537.
• Theiss, J. A. and Solomon, D. H. (2006). A relational turbulence model of communication about irritations in romantic relationships. Communication Research, 33, 391-418.
• Tice, D. M., Butler, J. L., Muraven, M. B., & Stillwell, A. M. (1995). When modesty prevails: Differential favorability of self-presentation to friends and strangers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(6), 1120–1138.
• Tolan, Ö. ve Duy, B. (2015). Kadın Merkezlerine Başvuran Kadınlarda Kişilerarası Tarzlar, Depresyon ve Öznel İyi Olma (Diyarbakır İli Örneği). Dicle Üniversitesi Ziya Gökalp Eğitim Fakültesi Dergisi, 24, 390-414.
• Uehara, S., Funaki, S. and Ohbuchi, K. (2011). Anger towards relational norm violations: Effects of types of relationships, relational specificity of and conveyance of needs. The Japanese Journal Of Experimental Social Psychology, 51(1), 32-42.
• Vangelisti, A. L. (2009). Feeling hurt in close relationships. New York: Cambridge University Press.
• Vangelisti, A. L. and Young, S. L. (2000). When Words Hurt: The Effects of Perceived Intentionality on Interpersonal Relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(3), 393–424.
• Vinkers, C. D. W., Finkenauer, C. and Hawk, S. T. (2010). Why do close partners snoop? Predictors of intrusive behavior in newlywed couples. Personal Relationships, 18(1), 110–124.
• Bernstein, E. (2014). “How to Deal With Other People's Rude Behavior”. https://www.wsj.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-other-peoples-rude-behavior-1404169092 adresinden 05.01.2021 tarihinde erişilmiştir.
• Güngör, M. (2020). "Sosyal Alerji". https://www.umaypd.com/single-post/sosyal-alerji adresinden 16.05.2021 tarihinde erişilmiştir.
• Henderson, L. and Horowitz, L. M. (2006). “Social allergens and frustrated interpersonal motives”. Programs and Abstracts of the Seventh Annual Meeting of the Society for Interpersonal Theory and Research, Philadelphia, PA. Erişim adresi: http://shyness.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/social-allergens.pdf adresinden 09.07.2021 tarihinde erişilmiştir.
• Mynet. (2010, 31 Mayıs). “Evde sahnedeki gibi çekici değil” (Haber). Erişim adresi (05.03.2021): https://www.mynet.com/evde-sahnedeki-gibi-cekici-degil-3183-mymagazin.
• O’Connor, B. P. (2007). “Using Social Allergens to Test Concepts from Interpersonal Theory, 6-7”. http://sitarsociety.weebly.com/uploads/1/0/4/0/10405979/2007_feb_sitar_newsletter.pdf adresinden 03.01.2021 tarihinde erişilmiştir.
• Podorefsky, K. (2014). “Do you have a social allergy?”. https://dailycollegian.com/2014/11/do-you-have-a-social-allergy/ adresinden 03.05.2021 tarihinde erişilmiştir.