HOW COUPLES PERCEIVE THEIR MARRIAGE?: A QUALITATIVE STUDY

Öz

 Marriage contributes to the mental health of the individuals and community and to the order of society. For this reason, the aim of this study is to determine how married couples perceive their marriage. The participants of this study are 57 married couples (114 individuals, 57 females and 57 males) live in Mersin province in 2015 and reached by snowball sampling method. The data of the studies were collected by the researchers' "Marriage Perception Form".  Participants were asked about the ideal marriage expectation, the areas where they had problems in their marriage, the methods they used to cope with stressful situations in their marriage, and the expectations of their own marriages. The data obtained after the transfer of the documents in the form of the forms collected from the participants to the computer environment were analyzed by means of content analysis through qualitative data analysis methods. According to the results obtained, the participants' ideal marriage expectancies are combined on a marriage expectation based on "love, respect and understanding" for both male and female participants. Among these participants, women most frequently refer to "child rearing and family elders" and men talked about “raising children and disagreements”.
However, both female and male participants frequently stated that they had no problem in their marriage. At the same time, married couples cope with these problems during their marriage by talking, being calm and silent; men participants are choosing the methods by talking, being quiet and going to quiet surroundings. Finally, while these couples hope a happy and respectful marriage based on their female love for their marriage; male participants also expect a marriage based on happiness, peace and love. These results were discussed and suggested in the light of studies in the related field.

Anahtar Kelimeler

• ideal marriage expectancy,problems in marriage,methods of coping with problems in marriage

ÇİFTLER EVLİLİKLERİNİ NASIL GÖRÜYORLAR? : NİTEL BİR ÇALIŞMA

Öz

Evlilik bireyin ve toplumun ruh sağlığı ve toplum düzeni için katkı sağlamaktadır. Bu sebeple bu çalışmanın amacı evli çiftlerin evliliklerini nasıl algıladıklarını ortaya koymaktır. Bu çalışmanın katılımcılarını 2015 yılında Mersin ilinde ikamet etmekte olup kartopu örnekleme yöntemi ile ulaşılmış olan 57 evli çift (114 birey; 57 kadın ve 57 erkek) oluşturmaktadır. Çalışmaların verileri araştırmacılar tarafından oluşturulan “Evlilik Algısı Formu” ile toplanmıştır. Katılımcılara, ideal evlilik beklentileri, evliliklerinde sorun yaşadıkları alanlar, evliliklerinde stres yaratan durumlarla baş etmede kullandıkları yöntemler ve kendi evliliklerine ait beklentiler sorulmuştur.  Katılımcılardan toplanan form halindeki dokümanların bilgisayar ortamına aktarılmasının ardından elde edilen veri, nitel veri analizi yöntemlerinden içerik analizi yoluyla analiz edilmiştir. Elde edilen sonuçlara göre, katılımcıların ideal evlilik beklentileri hem kadın hem de erkek katılımcılar için “sevgi, saygı ve anlayış” temelinde oluşan bir evlilik beklentisi üzerinde birleşmektedir. Bu katılımcılardan kadınlar evliliklerinde en sık “çocuk yetiştirme ve aile büyükleri” konularını; erkekler ise çocuk yetiştirme ve fikir ayrılıkları konusunu dile getirmişlerdir. Bununla birlikte, evliliklerinde sorun yaşamadıklarını hem kadın hem de erkek katılımcılar sıklıkla ifade etmişlerdir. Aynı zamanda evli çiftler evliliklerinde bu sorunlarla baş etmede kadınlar konuşarak, sakin davranarak ve sessiz kalarak; erkekler konuşarak, sakin davranarak ve sakin ortamlara giderek yolunu seçmektedirler. Son olarak, bu çiftler kendi evlilikleri için kadınlar sevgiye dayanan, mutlu ve saygıya dayanan bir evlilik beklerken; erkek katılımcılar da benzer olarak mutlu, huzurlu ve sevgiye dayanan bir evlilik beklemektedirler. Bu sonuçlar ilgili alan yazındaki çalışmalar ışığında tartışılmış ve önerilerde bulunulmuştur. 

Anahtar Kelimeler

• ideal evlilik beklentisi,evlilikteki sorunlar,evlilikte sorunlarla baş etme yöntemleri

Kaynakça

1. Ajzen, I. (1991). The theory of planned behavior. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 50, 179-211.
2. Akgün, R., & Polat Uluocak, G. (2010). Evlilikte etkili iletişim ve problem çözme: bir toplum merkezindeki kadınlarla gerçekleştirilen grup çalışması. Aile ve Toplum Eğitim – Kültür ve Araştırma Dergisi, 11(6), 9-22.
3. Antill, J. K., Cotton, S., & Tindale, S. (1983). Egalitarian or traditional: Correlates of the perception of an ideal marriage. Australian Journal of Psychology, 35(2), 245-257.
4. Baldwin, J. H., Ellis, G. D. & Baldwin, B. M. (1999). Marital satisfaction: an examination of its relationship to spouse support and congruence of commitment among runners. Leisure Sciences, 21, 117-131.
5. Birditt, K. S., & Fingerman, K. L. (2003). Age and gender differences in adults’ descriptions of emotional reactions to interpersonal tensions. The Journals of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 58, 237–245.
6. Canel, A. N. (2012). Evlilik ve aile hayatı. Marriage and family life]. İstanbul, Turkey: Aile ve Sosyal Politikalar Bakanlığı.
7. Carlson, Daniel L. 2012. “Deviations from desired age at marriage: Marital Status.” Journal of Marriage and Family 74(4):743–58.
8. Carr, D., Freedman, V. A., Cornman, J. C., Schwarz, N. (2014). Happy marriage, happy life? marital quality and subjective well-being in later life. Journal of Marriage and Family, 76, 930–948.

9. Coiro, M. J., & Emery, R. E. (1998). Do marriage problems affect fathering more than mothering? A quantitative and qualitative review. Clinical child and family psychology review, 1(1), 23-40.
10. Coontz, S. (2005). Marriage, a history: From obedience to intimacy or how love conquered marriage. New York, NY: Viking.
11. Curun, F. (2006). Yüklemeler, iletişim çatışmaları, cinsiyet ve cinsiyet rolü yönelimi ile evlilik doyumu arasındaki ilişki. Yayımlanmamış Doktora Tezi. Ankara Üniversitesi.
12. Doss, B.D., Simpson, L.E., & Christensen, A. (2004). Why do couples seek marital therapy? Professional Psychology. Research and Practice, 35(6), 608–614.
13. Edin, K., Kefalas, M. J., & Reed, J. M. (2004). A peek inside the black box: What marriage means for poor unmarried parents. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 1007–1014.
14. Epstein, N. B., & Baucom, D. H. (2002). Enhanced cognitive-behavioral therapy for couples: A contextual approach. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
15. Ersanlı, K., & Kalkan, M. (2008). Evlilik ilişkilerini geliştirme (kuram ve uygulama). (1. Baskı). Ankara: Nobel Yayın.
16. Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce? The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
17. Hasanoğlu, A. (2013). İlişkilerin günlük hayatı. İstanbul: Remzi Kitabevi.
18. Henry, R. G., & Miller, R. B. (2004). Marital problems occurring in midlife: Implications for couples therapists. American Journal of Family Therapy, 30, 405–517.
19. Işık, A., Rankin, B. H. (2009). Economic Crisis and Marital Problems in Turkey: Testing the Family Stress Model. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71, 756 – 767.
20. Johnson, D. R., & Wu, J. (2002). An Empirical Test of Crisis, Social Selection, and Role Explanations of the Relationship between Marital Disruption and Psychological Distress: A Pooled Time‐Series Analysis of Four‐Wave Panel Data. Journal of Marriage and Family, 64(1), 211-224.
21. Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2005). Contextual influences on marriage: Implications for policy and intervention. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 14, 171–174.
22. Kiecolt–Glaser, J., & Newton, T. (2001). Marriage and health: his and hers. Psychological Bulletin, 127, 472–503.
23. Lauer, R. H., Lauer, J. C., & Kerr, S. T. (1990). The long-term marriage: Perceptions of stability and satisfaction. The International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 31(3), 189-195.
24. Lavner, J. A., Karney, B.R., Bradbury, T. N. (2014). Relationship Problems Over the Early Years of Marriage: Stability or Change? Journal of Family Psychology, 28(6), 979–985.
25. Miller, R. B., Nunes, N. A., Bean, R. A., Day, R. D., Falceto, O. G., Hollist, C. S. & Fernandes, C. L. (2014). Marital Problems and Marital Satisfaction Among Brazilian Couples. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 42, 153–166.
26. Neff, L. A., Geers, A. L. (2013). Optimistic expectations in early marriage: a resource or vulnerability for adaptive relationship functioning? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105(1), 38–60.
27. Parker, M. L., Tambling, R. B., & Campbell, K. (2012). Dyadic adjustment and depressive symtoms: the mediating role olf attachment. The Family Journal, 21, 28-34. Pew Research Center (PRC) (2013). Social & demographic trends project: love and marriage. [Çevrim-içi:http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/iii-marriage/], Erişim Tarihi: 22nd July 2017.
28. Pfeifer, L., Miller, R. B., Li, T. S., Hsiao, Y. L. (2013). Perceived marital problems in Taiwan. Contemporary Family Therapy, 35, 91–104
29. Pines, A. M. (1996). Couple burnout. New York/ London: Routledge.
30. Previti, D., & Amato, P. R. (2003). Why stay married? Rewards, barriers, and marital stability. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 561-573.
31. Saldana, J. (2011). Fundamentals of qualitative research. New York: Oxford University Press.
32. Schnittker, J. (2007). Look (closely) at all the lonely people: Age and the social psychology of social support. Journal of Aging and Health, 19, 659–682.
33. Shultz, K. S., & Wang, M. (2011). Psychological perspectives on the changing nature of retirement. American Psychologist, 66, 170–179.
34. Slosarz, W. S. (2002). Expectations of marriage—relations and determinants. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17(4), 381-387.
35. Smith, J. A. & Osborn, M.Smith, (2015). Interpretative phenomenological analysis. in J. A. (Ed.). Qualitative psychology: A practical guide to research methods. London: Sage.
36. Su, L.P., Miller, R. B., Canlas, J. M., Li, T. S., Hsiao, Y. L., Willoughby, B. J. (2015). A Cross-Cultural Study of Perceived Marital Problems in Taiwan and the United States. Contemporary Family Therapy, 37, 165–175
37. Tan, H. (1976). Psikolojik danışma ve evlilik sorunları. Psikoloji Çalışmaları Dergisi, 12, 97-113.
38. Terling-Watt, T. (2001). Explaining divorce: An examination of the relationship between marital characteristics and divorce. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, 35(3), 125–145.
39. Türkiye İstatistik Kurumu (2016). Evlilik ve Boşanma İstatistikleri. Erişiö Tarihi: 29.08.2017. http://www.tuik.gov.tr/PreHaberBultenleri.do?id=24642
40. United State Census Bureau (USCB) (2012). Statistical international statistics, national marriage and divorce rate trends, abstract of the United States. [Çevrim-içi:http://www.census.gov/hhes/socdemo/marriage/], Erişim Tarihi: 23 Şubat 2014
41. Vaterlaus, M., Skogrand, L., Chaney, C. (2015). Help-Seeking for Marital Problems: Perceptions of Individuals in Strong African American Marriages. Contemporary Family Therapy, 37:22–32
42. Whisman, M. A. (2001). The association between depression and marital dissatisfaction. In S. R. H. Beach (Ed.), Marital and family processes in depression: A scientific foundation for clinical practice (pp. 3–24). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
43. Whisman, M. A. (2007). Marital distress and DSM-IV psychiatric disorders in a population-based national survey. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 116, 638–643. doi:10.1037/0021-843X.116.3.638.
44. Whisman, M. A., & Baucom, D. H. (2012). Intimate relationships and psychopathology. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 15, 4–13. doi:10.1007/s10567-011-0107-2.
45. Yıldırım, A. & Şimşek, H. (2016). Sosyal bilimlerde nitel araştırma yöntemleri. Ankara: Seçkin.