The Qur’ān and Value Conflicts in Marriage in the Modern Era

Öz

This article explores the growing phenomenon of value-based conflicts in modern marriages by examining the foundational ethical and legal principles of marriage articulated in the Qur’ān. Against the backdrop of rapidly changing social dynamics-industrialization, urbanization, the rise of individualism, and shifting gender roles-the study investigates how Qur’ānic guidance continues to provide timeless yet adaptable solutions to contemporary family challenges. The analysis centers on key Qur’ānic verses, notably ar-Rūm 21, an-Nisā 19 and 35, at-Tahrīm 10, and al-Baqara 228, which collectively emphasize virtues such as love (mawaddah), mercy (rahmah), justice (ʿadl), kind and fair treatment (ḥusn al-muʿāsharah), empathy, and the equitable sharing of responsibilities within the marital bond. Far from being mere moral ideals, these principles serve as practical tools for preventing and resolving marital conflicts. Employing both descriptive and analytical methods, the study integrates classical exegetical sources (tafsīr) with contemporary sociological perspectives. It demonstrates how Qur’ānic teachings transcend their historical context while remaining relevant for navigating complex interpersonal dynamics in modern family structures. The findings show that these principles strengthen marital communication and emotional stability and support the development of holistic models that can help reduce divorce rates. The article proposes a multidimensional approach to resolving value-based marital conflicts through Qur’ān-centered moral education, faith-sensitive counseling, structured mediation, and religiously informed family-policy reforms. Ultimately, it offers a holistic framework that harmonizes traditional Qur’ānic values with contemporary needs, thereby strengthening and preserving the modern family through ethically grounded and practically effective strategies.

Anahtar Kelimeler

• Tafsīr
• Qur’ān
• Marriage
• Family
• Value Conflict

Kur’an ve Modern Dönemde Evlilikte Değer Çatışmaları

Öz

Bu makale, Kur’an’ın evlilik kurumuna ilişkin ortaya koyduğu temel ahlâkî ve hukûkî ilkeleri merkeze alarak, çağdaş toplumlarda artan değer çatışmalarını analiz etmeyi amaçlamaktadır. Çalışmada, Kur’an’daki Rûm 21., Nisâ 19. ve 35., Tahrîm 10. ve Bakara 228. âyetleri başta olmak üzere çeşitli âyetler bağlamında sevgi, merhamet, adalet, nezaket, empati ve görev paylaşımı gibi ilkelere dayalı ilâhî rehberlik ilkeleri incelenmektedir. Bu ilkelerin, modern dönemde sanayileşme, bireyselleşme ve toplumsal cinsiyet rollerindeki dönüşümler sonucunda evlilik yapısında ortaya çıkan duygusal ve işlevsel çözülmelere karşı nasıl bir çözüm perspektifi sunduğu tartışılmaktadır. Betimleyici ve analiz odaklı yöntemle hazırlanan çalışmada klasik tefsir literatürüyle birlikte güncel sosyolojik araştırmalardan da faydalanılmıştır. Elde edilen bulgular, Kur’anî ilkelerin bireysel düzeyde evlilik içi iletişimi güçlendirdiğini ve toplumsal düzeyde boşanma oranlarının düşürülmesine katkı sağlayabilecek modellerin inşasına temel oluşturduğunu göstermektedir. Makale, Kur’an merkezli çok boyutlu yaklaşımlarla değer çatışmalarını önlemeye ve sağlıklı aile yapısını yeniden inşa etmeye yönelik teorik ve pratik çözümler sunmaktadır. Ayrıca, bu ilkelerin günümüz ailelerinde empati ve görev paylaşımını teşvik ederek, bireysel mutluluğun yanı sıra toplumsal istikrarı da kalıcı bir şekilde pekiştirebileceği vurgulanmaktadır. Özetle, Kur’an’ın evlilikle ilgili rehberliği, modern toplumların karşılaştığı ahlâkî erozyona karşı kalıcı ve evrensel bir panzehir niteliği taşımakta ve bireylerin iç huzurunu toplumun uzun vadeli bütünlüğünü sağlamaya yönelik bir çerçeve sunmaktadır.

Anahtar Kelimeler

• Tefsir
• Kur’an
• Evlilik
• Aile
• Değer Çatışması

Kaynakça

1. Abū Zahrah, Muhammad Abū. al-Aḥwāl al-Shakhṣiyyah. Cairo: Dār al-Fikr al-’Arabī, 1957.
2. Abū Zahrah, Muḥammad. Family and Society in Social Life. Translated by Nurettin Demir and M. Vesim Taylan. 2nd ed. Istanbul: Kayıhan Publishing, 2004.
3. Adak, Nurşen. “The Women Dilemma: Between Work and Fımily Life”. Sosyoloji Dergisi 17/1 (2007), 137-152.
4. Agacinski, Sylviane. Parity of the Sexes. Ankara: Dost Kitabevi, 1998.
5. Ahmadi, K., others. “The Influence of Religiosity on Marital Satisfaction”. Journal of Social Science 4/2 (2008), 103-110.
6. Aitan, Hamza. “Divorce Procedure According to the Quran”. Dini Araştırmalar 5/14 (Aralık 2002), 5-16.
7. Amato, Paul R. Alone Together: How Marriage in America Is Changing. Harvard University Press, 2007.
8. Arslanoğlu, İbrahim. General Sociology: Lecture Notes. Ankara: Gazi Kitabevi, 2015.

9. Arvas, Fatma Balcı. “Family, Values and Religion: A Theoretical Approach”. Türkiye İlahiyat Araştırmaları Dergisi 4/1 (2019), 199-233. https://doi. org/10.32711/tiad.674658.
10. Avcı, Hatice. “An Evaluation on Verse 21 of Surah Rum in the Context of Spiritually Oriented Family Counseling”. Türkiye İlahiyat Araştırmaları Dergisi 7/3 (Eylül 2023), 560-576. https://doi.org/10.32711/tiad.1287003.
11. Aughinbaugh, Alison; Robles, Omar; Sun, Hu gette. “Marriage and divorce: patterns by gender, race, and educational attainment”. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Erişim 12 Mayıs 2025. https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/marriage-anddivorce- patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm
12. Aẓīmābādī, Abū al-Ṭayyib Muḥammad Shams al-Ḥaqq. ʿAwn al-Maʿbūd: Sharḥ Sunan Abī Dāwūd. Medina: al-Maktabah al-Salafiyyah, 1968.
13. Bahadır, A. Family Psychology and Religion. İdeal Usta Fot. Bas. Yay. Dağıtım, 2012.
14. Belen, F. Z. “Spiritual Psychologic Approach to Communication Between Spouses”. Toplum Bilimleri Dergisi 8/15 (2014), 177-194.
15. Bayzāwī, Nāṣir al-Dīn. Anwāru al-tanzīl wa-asrāru al-taʾwīl. Edited by Muḥammad ʿAbd al-Raḥmān al-Maʿrashlī. Beirut: Dār Iḥyāʾ al-Turāth al-ʿArabī, 1418.
16. Bozkurt, Veysel. Sociology in a Changing World. Bursa: Ekin Yayınevi, 2017.
17. Breen, Richard - Cooke, Lynn P. “The Persistence of the Gendered Division of Domestic Labour”. European Sociological Review 21/1 (2005), 43-57.
18. Bukhārī, Abū ʿAbd Allāh Muḥammad Ibn Ismāʿīl. al-Jāmiʿ al-Ṣaḥīḥ. Edited by Muḥammad Zuhayr Ibn Naṣr. 2nd ed. Dār al-Tawqīʿ al-Najāh, 1422 AH / 2001 CE.
19. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Marriage and Divorce: Patterns by Gender, Race, and Educational Attainment: Monthly Labor Review. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Accessed August 16, 2025.
20. Call, V. R. A.- Heaton, T. B. “Religious Influence on Marital Stability”. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 36/3 (1997), 382-392.
21. Canan, İbrahim. Family Education. İzmir: Gülyurdu Yayınları, 7nd ed. 2012.
22. Canatan, Kadir - Yıldırım, Ergün. Family Sociology. Istanbul: Açılım Kitap, 2016.
23. Cooke, Lynn P. ‘Doing’ Gender in Context: Household Bargaining and Risk of Divorce in Germany and the United States, American Journal of Sociology 112/2 (2006), 442-472.
24. Coşar, Simten - Özkan Kerestecioğlu, İnci. “Feminism’s Challenge with Neoliberalism”. Doğu Batı Düşünce Dergisi: Toplumsal Cinsiyet 2/64 (2013), 21- 36.
25. Çamdibi, Mahmut. Good Morality and Human Relations. İstanbul: Çamlıca Yayınları, 2012.
26. Dikeçligil, F. Beylü. Breaking the Convention on Family Acceptances. Istanbul: Açılım Kitap, 2014.
27. Dollahite, David C. - Marks, Loren D. “A Conceptual Model of Family and Religious Processes in Highly Religious Families”. Review of Religious Research 50/4 (2009), 373-391.
28. Duben, Alan. City, Family, History. Translated by Leyla Şimşek - Rathke. Istanbul: İletişim Yayınları, 2012.
29. Durdu, Zafer. Modern Thought and Social Structure in Turkey. İstanbul: Doğu Kitabevi, 2018.
30. Elmas, Çağrı - Adak, Nurşen. “Post-Divorce Experiences in Türkiye and the Social Structures Behind the Reasons for Divorce”. İstanbul Üniversitesi Sosyoloji Dergisi 43/1 (30 Haziran 2023), 84-97. https://doi.org/10.26650/ SJ.2023.43.1.0030B
31. Engels, Friedrich. The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State. Ankara: Eriş Yayıncılık, 2003.
32. England, Paula. “The Gender Revolution: Uneven and Stalled”. Gender & Society 24/2 (2010), 149-166. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243210361475
33. England, Paula - Shafer, Erin. “Everyday Gender Conflicts in Low-Income Couples”. Unmarried Couples with Children. 55-83. Sage, 2007.
34. Gazali, İmam. Marriage and Family Life in Islam. Translated by Mehmet Ali Kayabağlar. Istanbul: Kahraman Yayınları, 1999.
35. Geçioğlu, Ahmet Rifat ve Ertuğrul Döner. “A Psycho-Social Assessment on the Issues Discussed Today in Islam in the Context of Marriage and Family” Çukurova Üniversitesi İlahiyat Fakültesi Dergisi (ÇÜİFD) 19, no. 2 (Aralık 2019): 603–627. https://doi.org/10.30627/cuilah.621379.
36. Geyer, A. L. - Baumeister, R. F. “Religion, Morality, and Self-Control: Values, Virtues”. Translated by Metin Güven. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality: New Approaches and Areas of Applicat. ed. Raymond F. Paloutzian - Crystal L. Park. 241-291. Ankara: Phoenix Yayınları, 2013.
37. Giddens, Anthony. Sociology. Ankara: Ayraç Yayınevi, 2000.
38. Goody, Jack. The European Family. Istanbul: Literatür Yayıncılık, 2000.
39. Gülmez, Çiğdem. Violence Against Women, Moral Disengagement and Religiosit. Samsun: Ondokuz Mayıs Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü, Felsefe ve Din Bilimleri Anabilim Dalı, Doktora Tezi, 2014.
40. Ibn ʿĀshūr, Muḥammad al-Ṭāhir Ibn Muḥammad Ibn Muḥammad al-Ṭāhir al- Tūnisī. al-Taḥrīr wa al-Tanwīr. 15 vols. Tunis: Dār al-Tūnisiyya li al-Nashr, 1984.
41. Ibn ʿAṭiyya, Abū Muḥammad ʿAbd al-Ḥaqq al-Andalusī. al-Muḥarrar al-Wajīz fī Tafsīr al-Kitāb al-ʿAzīz. Edited by ʿAbd al-Salām ʿAbd al-Shāfī Muḥammad. Beirut: Dār al-Kutub al-ʿIlmiyya, 1422 AH / 2001 CE.
42. Ibn Hishām, ʿAbd al-Malik Ibn Hishām. al-Sīra al-Nabawiyya. Edited by Jamāl Ṣābit et al. Cairo: Dār al-Ḥadīth, 2006.
43. Ibn Mājah, Abū ʿAbd Allāh Muḥammad Ibn Yazīd al-Qazwīnī. al-Sunan. Edited by Muḥammad Muṣṭafā al-Aʿẓamī. Riyadh: King Fahd Complex for the Printing of the Holy Qur’ān, 1983.
44. Jr, Everett L. Worthington et al. “Unforgiveness, Forgiveness, Religion, and Health”. Faith and Health: Psychological Perspectives. ed. Thomas G. Plante - Allen C. Sherman. 107-138. New York-London: The Guilford Press, 2001.
45. Karaman, Hayreddin. The Qur’an Path Turkish Translation and Commentary. Ankara: DİB Yayınları, 2020.
46. Kasapoğlu, Abdurrahman. “Marriage Therapy in the Qur’an - A Comparison with Contemporary Psychological Data and Practices” Dinbilimleri Akademik Araştırma Dergisi 4/3 (2004), 37-74.
47. Kasapoğlu, Abdurrahman. “The Problem of Harmony Between Spouses in Marriage According to Islam- Harmony of Faith and Morality”. Bilimname 5/12 (2007), 137-162.
48. Ibn Kathīr, Abū al-Fidāʾ ʿImād al-Dīn Ismāʿīl Ibn ʿUmar al-Dimashqī. Tafsīr al- Qurʾān al-ʿAẓīm. Edited by Sāmī Ibn Muḥammad Salāmah. Beirut: Dār Ṭayyibah li al-Nashr wa al-Tawzīʿ, 1999.
49. Kongar, Emre. Social Change Theories and Türkiye’s Reality. Istanbul: Remzi Kitabevi, 2012.
50. Kökalan Çımrın, Füsun. “Another Family Is Possible (?)”. International Social Sciences Studies Journal 8/87 (2021), 3890-3900.
51. Köse, Saffet. Genetiğiyle Oynanmış Kavramlar ve Aile Medeniyetinin Sonu. Konya: Mehir Vakfı Yayınları, Konya Büyükşehir Belediyesi, 2020.
52. Qurṭubī, Abū ʿAbd Allāh Muḥammad Ibn Aḥmad. al-Jāmiʿ li-Aḥkām al- Qurʾān. Edited by Aḥmad al-Bardūnī and Ibrāhīm Aṭfīsh. Cairo: Dār al-Kutub al- Miṣriyya, 1384 AH / 1964 CE.
53. Lambert, N. M. - Dollahite, D. C. “How Religiosity Helps Couples Prevent, Resolve and Overcome Marital Conflict”. Family Relations 55/4 (2006), 439-449. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2006.00414.x
54. Mahoney, Annette et al. “Religion in the Home in the 1980s and 1990s: A Meta- Analytic Review and Conceptual Analysis of Links Between Religion, Marriage, and Parenting”. Journal of Family Psychology 15/4 (2001), 559-596. https://doi. org/10.1037/0893-3200.15.4.559
55. McCullough, Michael E. et al. “Religion and Forgiveness”. Handbook of the Psychology of Religion and Spirituality. ed. Raymond F. Paloutzian - Crystal L. Park. 394-411. New York: Guilford Press, 2005.
56. Mawdūdī, Abū al-Aʿlā. Tafhīm al-Qurʾān. Translated by Muḥammad Kayanī et al. Istanbul, 1987.
57. Muslim Ibn al-Ḥajjāj al-Qushayrī al-Naysābūrī. al-Jāmiʿ al-Ṣaḥīḥ. Edited by Muḥammad Fuʾād ʿAbd al-Bāqī. Cairo: [n.p.], 1374-75 AH / 1955–56 CE.
58. Nasafī, Abū al-Barakāt. Madārik al-Tanzīl wa Ḥaqāʾiq al-Taʾwīl. Edited by Yūsuf ʿAlī Badawī. Beirut: Dār al-Kalim al-Ṭayyib, 1419 AH.
59. Popenoe, David. Life without Father: Compelling New Evidence that Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society. Simon & Schuster, 1996.
60. Rāzī, Abū ʿAbd Allāh Muḥammad Ibn ʿUmar Fakhr al-Dīn. Mafātīḥ al-Ghayb. Beirut: Dār Iḥyāʾ al-Turāth al-ʿArabī, 1420 AH.
61. Sayer, Liana C. et al. “She Left, He Left: How Employment and Satisfaction Affect Women’s and Men’s Decisions to Leave Marriages”. American Journal of Sociology 116/6 (2011), 1982-2018.
62. Schoen, Robert et al. “Women’s Employment, Marital Happiness, and Divorce”. Social Forces 81/2 (2002), 643-662. https://doi.org/10.1353/sof.2003.0019
63. Smith, Anthony D. Understanding of Social Change. Ankara: Gündoğan Yayınları, 1995.
64. Smock, Pamela J. et al. “The Effect of Marriage and Divorce on Women’s Economic Well-Being”. American Sociological Review. 794-812.
65. Sulaymān, Muqātil. Tafsīr Muqātil Ibn Sulaymān. Edited by ʿAbd Allāh Maḥmūd Shaḥāta. Beirut: Muʾassasat al-Tārīkh al-ʿArabī, 2002.
66. Ṭabarī, Muḥammad Ibn Jarīr. Jāmiʿ al-Bayān ʿan Taʾwīl āy al-Qurʾān. Cairo: Markaz al-Buḥūth al-Islāmiyya wa al-ʿArabiyya, 2003.
67. Taş, Gün. “A General Evaluatıon of Femınısm: Its Conceptual Analysıs, Hıstorıcal Process and Changes”. Akademik Hassasiyetler 3/5 2016. https:// dergipark.org.tr/tr/download/article-file/269956
68. Tekin, M. “Family Institution from the Perspective of Religions”. Family Sociology. ed. Kadir Canatan - Ergün Yıldırım. Istanbul: Açılım Kitap Yayınları, 2nd ed, 2011.
69. Tirmidhī, Abū ʿĪsā Muḥammad Ibn ʿĪsā. al-Jāmiʿ al-Ṣaḥīḥ. Cairo: [s.n.], 1356 AH.
70. Turkish Statistical Institute. Family Structure Survey, 2021.
71. Türkkahraman, Mimar. Society and Social Institutions: An Introduction to the Sociology of Institutions. Ankara: Alp Yayınevi, 2006.
72. Wāqidī, Abū ʿAbd Allāh Muḥammad Ibn ʿUmar Ibn Wāqid al-Wāqidī al- Aslamī al-Madanī. Kitāb al-Maghāzī. Edited by Marsden Jones. Beirut: [s.n.], 1984.
73. West, Candace - Zimmerman, Don H. “Doing Gender”. Gender & Society 1/2 (1987), 125-151.
74. Yargıtay, Yargıtay 11. Hukuk Dairesi. K. 2019/1204 (Yargıtay 22 Ağustos 2019). http://www.resmigazete.gov.tr/eskiler/2019/08/ 20190822-4.pdf Yazır, Elmalılı Hamdi. Hak Dini Kur’an Dili. ed. İsmail Karaçam. Istanbul: [s.n.], 1992.
75. Yörükoğlu, Atalay. Family and Child in a Changing Society. Istanbul: Özgür Yayınları, 2007.
76. Zajjāj, Abū Isḥāq Ibrāhīm Ibn al-Sarī al-Baghdādī. Maʿānī al-Qurʾān wa Iʿrābuhu. Beirut: [s.n.], 1988.
77. Zamakhsharī, Abū al-Qāsim Maḥmūd Ibn ʿUmar. al-Kashshāf ʿan Ḥaqāʾiq al- Tanzīl. Beirut: Dār al-Kitāb al-’Arabī, 1407 AH.
78. The Holy Bible. Istanbul: Kitabı Mukaddes Şirketi, 2nd ed, 2003.