Internet, Cybersex and Infidelity

Abstract

Increasing use of internet has numerous reflections on relationships. Within the range of chatroom friendship and flirting to shared sexuality, cybersex addiction and criminal behaviours are among the most intriguing. Searching for sexual satisfaction on internet may have a number of functions such as decreasing anxiety and distress; expressing emotions such as loneliness, depression, anger and disappointment; or providing support to not being able to judge the level of intimacy in a realtionship. The incredible ease with which one obtains sexual content on the internet, at home, at the work place or even through mobile phones is one of the most important reason for its widespread prevalence. Another important allure of the cybersex is its anonimity, the relative ease to disguise normally disturbing characteristics and its being mostly ignored by others. It is also low-cost. On the other hand it causes increased social isolation, damages trust in relationships, and causes the individual to seek for help due to dramatic consequences following a period of virtual mirroring, when the feeling of finding a soulmate causes mutual adoration and idealization. This review examines the definition of infidelity in the context of internet use, its characteristics, types and various aspects; its negative consequences on relationships; its effects on couples and families; and treatment alternatives. The problems caused by increasing compulsivity of cybersex are also highlighted.

Keywords

• cybersex, internet, infidelity, internet sex addiction

İnternet, Siberseks ve Sadakatsizlik

Öz

İnternet kullanımının yaygınlaşması ilişkilere de yansımaktadır. Sohbet odalarında arkadaşlık ve flörtten çevrim içi sadakatsizlik ve cinselliğin paylaşılmasına doğru genişleyen bu alanda siberseks bağımlılığı ve suç oluşturan davranışlar da dikkat çekmekte ve merak uyandırmaktadır. İnternet üzerinden cinsel doyum arayışının kaygı ve sıkıntıyı azaltmak, yalnızlık, depresyon, öfke ve hayal kırıklığı gibi duyguları ifade etmek, ilişkide yakınlık ve uzaklığı ayarlayamamaya karşı dayanak oluşturmak gibi bir çok işlevi olabilir. İnternet üzerinden cinselliğe inanılmaz bir kolaylıkla ulaşılması, evde ya da işyerinde hatta cep telefonlarıyla her an erişilir olması yaygınlığının önemli nedenlerinden biridir. Kimliğin açığa çıkmıyor olması, gerçek yaşamda sorgulanabilecek özelliklerin kolaylıkla kılık değiştirebilmesi ve üzerine gidilememesi bir diğer nedeni oluşturur. Ayrıca maliyeti azdır. Öte yandan sosyal yalıtımı artırarak, ilişkilerdeki güveni zedeleyerek, kendiliğin ruh ikizini bulduğunu hissettiği, karşılıklı hayranlık ve idealleştirmenin olduğu bir sanal ayna evresini izleyen dramatik sonuçlara yol açarak bireylerin yardım arayışına yönelmesine neden olmaktadır. Bu yazıda internet kullanımıyla bağlantılı sadakatsizliğin tanımı, özellikleri, türleri, bağlantılı unsurlar, ilişkilerde yol açtığı olumsuz sonuçlar ve tedavi seçenekleri ele alınarak çiftler ve aileler üzerine olan etkileri gözden geçirilmiştir. Ayrıca siberseksin giderek bağımlılığa dönüşmesinin yol açtığı sorunlara da dikkat çekilmektedir

Anahtar Kelimeler

• siberseks, internet, sadakatsizlik, internet seks bağımlılığı

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