EBEVEYNLİKTE MÜKEMMELİYETÇİLİK VE ÖZ-ŞEFKAT

Yıl 2025, Sayı: AİLE YILI ÖZEL SAYISI, 147 - 181, 30.10.2025

Eda Öztürk Belet

https://doi.org/10.14520/adyusbd.1740375

Öz

Bu derleme çalışmasında, ebeveynlik bağlamında mükemmeliyetçilik ve öz-şefkat kavramlarının karşılıklı ilişkisi, psikolojik, sosyal ve aile içi faktörler ışığında ele alınmaktadır. Mükemmeliyetçilik, yüksek standartlara ulaşma çabasıyla birlikte kendine yönelik eleştiriyi artırarak ebeveynlik tutumlarını etkileyebilmektedir. Öz-şefkat ise bireyin kendine karşı anlayış ve kabul geliştirmesini kolaylaştırmakta, ebeveynlik stresini düzenleyici bir kaynak olarak öne çıkmaktadır. Çalışmada, bireysel kişilik özellikleri, öz-yeterlik algısı, anksiyete eğilimleri; sosyal medya ve kültürel normlar gibi toplumsal etkenler ile ebeveynin kendi ebeveyniyle olan ilişkisi gibi aile içi dinamikler, mükemmeliyetçiliğin oluşumunda belirleyici unsurlar olarak incelenmiştir. Literatür taraması, bu iki kavramın birlikte değerlendirildiği çalışmaların sınırlı olduğunu, öz-şefkatin düzenleyici etkilerinin ebeveynlik üzerindeki yansımalarının ise yeterince araştırılmadığını ortaya koymaktadır. Bu bağlamda, farklı kültürel bağlamlarda yapılacak boylamsal ve deneysel çalışmalara ihtiyaç duyulmakta; ebeveyn cinsiyeti, çocuk yaşı gibi değişkenlerin etkisi ayrıntılı biçimde araştırılmalıdır.

Anahtar Kelimeler

Mükemmeliyetçilik , öz-şefkat , ebeveynlik , aile içi ilişkiler , şefkat odaklı terapi

PERFECTIONISM AND SELF-COMPASSION IN PARENTING

Öz

This review study examines the interplay between perfectionism and self-compassion in the context of parenting, focusing on psychological, social, and intergenerational factors. Perfectionism, often associated with the pursuit of high standards, can foster self-criticism and lead to rigid parenting behaviors. In contrast, self-compassion encourages acceptance and emotional regulation, serving as a protective resource against parenting stress. The study explores how individual traits such as personality, self-efficacy, and anxiety; societal influences like social media and cultural expectations; and parental childhood experiences contribute to the development of perfectionistic tendencies. A critical review of the literature reveals that empirical studies addressing both constructs together remain limited, and the buffering role of self-compassion in parenting practices has yet to be thoroughly investigated. There is a growing need for longitudinal and experimental research across diverse cultural settings, with attention to variables such as parent gender and child age.

Anahtar Kelimeler

Perfectionism , self-compassion , parenting , family relations , compassion based therapies

Kaynakça

• Adler, F. (1956). The value concept in sociology. American Journal of Sociology, 62(3), 272–279.
• Amerikan Psikiyatri Birliği. (2014). Ruhsal bozuklukların tanısal ve sayımsal elkitabı (DSM-5) (E. Köroğlu, Çev.). HYB Yayıncılık.
• Assor, A., Roth, G., & Deci, E. L. (2004). The emotional costs of parents’ conditional regard: A self‐determination theory analysis. Journal of Personality, 72(1), 47–88. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0022-3506.2004.00256.x
• Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
• Barry, C. T., Loflin, D. C., & Doucette, H. N. (2015). Adolescent self-compassion: Associations with narcissism, self-esteem, aggression, and internalizing symptoms in at-risk males. Personality and Individual Differences, 77, 118–123.
• Belsky, J., & Jaffee, S. R. (2006). The multiple determinants of parenting. In D. Cicchetti & D. J. Cohen (Eds.), Developmental psychopathology: Vol. 3. Risk, disorder, and adaptation (2nd ed., pp. 38–85). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
• Blatt, S. J. (1995). The destructiveness of perfectionism: Implications for the treatment of depression. American psychologist, 50(12), 1003.
• Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Clinical applications of attachment theory. London: Routledge.
• Bornstein, M. H. (2015). Children’s parents. In R. M. Lerner (Ed.), Ecological settings and processes in developmental systems (Vol. 4, pp. 55–132). Springer.
• Burns, D. D. (1980). The perfectionist’s script for self-defeat. Psychology Today, 14(6), 34–52.
• Çerkez, Y., Simge Demir, & Öneri Uzun, G. (2023). Navigating The Complexities of Parenting: The Interconnectedness of Forgiveness, Perfectionism, and Self-Compassion . International Journal of Positivity & Well-Being, 1(01), 27–41. https://doi.org/10.61518/ijpw-7
• Chae, J. (2015). “Am I a better mother than you?” Media and 21st-century motherhood in the context of the social comparison theory. Communication Research, 42(4), 503–525. https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650214534969
• Craig, L. (2006). Does father care mean fathers share? A comparison of how mothers and fathers in intact families spend time with children. Gender & Society, 20(2), 259–281. https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243205285212
• Çiçekler, C. Y., Büyükbayraktar, Ç. G., Er, R. K., & Pirpir, D. A. (2014). 1–3 yaş arasında çocuğu bulunan annelerin özyeterlikleri ile mükemmeliyetçilikleri arasındaki ilişkinin incelenmesi. Mustafa Kemal Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü Dergisi, 11(26), 109–124.
• Dunkley, D. M., Zuroff, D. C., & Blankstein, K. R. (2003). Self-critical perfectionism and daily affect: Dispositional and situational influences on stress and coping. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(1), 234–252. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.1.234
• Egan, S. J., Wade, T. D., & Shafran, R. (2011). Perfectionism as a transdiagnostic process: A clinical review. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(2), 203–212. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.04.009
• Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 5–31). American Psychological Association.
• Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Shapiro, B., & Rayman, J. (2001). Perfectionism, beliefs, and adjustment in dating relationships. Current Psychology, 20(4), 289–311. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-001-1013-3
• Freud, S., & Strachey, J. (1959). Group psychology and the analysis of the ego. W.W. Norton. (Original work published 1921)
• Frost, R. O., Marten, P., Lahart, C., & Rosenblate, R. (1990). The dimensions of perfectionism. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 14(5), 449–468. https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01172967
• Germer, C. K., & Neff, K. D. (2013). Self‐compassion in clinical practice. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(8), 856–867. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22021
• Hamachek, D. E. (1978). Psychodynamics of normal and neurotic perfectionism. Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior, 15(1), 27–33.
• Hankin, B. L. (2008). Stability of cognitive vulnerabilities to depression: A short-term prospective multiwave study. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 117(2), 324–333. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.117.2.324
• Haring, M., Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (2003). Perfectionism, coping, and quality of intimate relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(1), 143–158. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00143.x
• Hays, S. (1996). The cultural contradictions of motherhood. Yale University Press.
• Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(3), 456–470. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456
• Hollender, M. H. (1978). Perfectionism, a neglected personality trait. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 39(5), 384–384.
• Holloway, S. D. (2010). Accidental achievers or successful parents? American views on parenting and academic achievement. In S. D. Holloway (Ed.), The role of parents in their children’s education (pp. 19–36). Routledge.
• Jefferson, F. A., Shires, A., & McAloon, J. (2020). Parenting self-compassion: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Mindfulness. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01401-x
• Jones, T. L., & Prinz, R. J. (2005). Potential roles of parental self-efficacy in parent and child adjustment: A review. Clinical Psychology Review, 25(3), 341–363. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2004.12.004
• Kabat-Zinn, M., & Kabat-Zinn, J. (1998). Everyday blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting. Hyperion.
• Kessler, R. C., McLaughlin, K. A., Green, J. G., Gruber, M. J., Sampson, N. A., Zaslavsky, A. M., ... & Williams, D. R. (2010). Childhood adversities and adult psychopathology in the WHO World Mental Health Surveys. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 197(5), 378–385. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.110.080499
• Lareau, A. (2011). Unequal childhoods: Class, race, and family life (2nd ed.). University of California Press.
• Lathren, C., Bluth, K., & Zvara, B. (2020). Parent self-compassion and supportive responses to child difficult emotion: An intergenerational theoretical model rooted in attachment. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 12(3), 368–381. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12388
• Luthar, S. S., & Ciciolla, L. (2016). What it feels like to be a mother: Variations by children’s developmental stages. Developmental Psychology, 52(1), 143–152. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0000062
• Moreira, H., & Canavarro, M. C. (2018). The association between self-critical rumination and parenting stress: The mediating role of mindful parenting. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 27, 2265–2275. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-018-1071-8
• Moreira, H., Gouveia, M. J., Carona, C., Silva, N., & Canavarro, M. C. (2015). Maternal attachment and children’s quality of life: The mediating role of self-compassion and parenting stress. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 24(8), 2332–2344. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-014-0036-z
• Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223–250. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309027
• Neff, K. D. (2011). Öz-şefkat (E. Güldemler, Çev.). Diyojen Yayıncılık.
• Neff, K. D., & Faso, D. J. (2015). Self-compassion and well-being in parents of children with autism. Mindfulness, 6, 938–947. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-014-0359-2
• Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923
• Neff, K. D., & McGehee, P. (2010). Self-compassion and psychological resilience among adolescents and young adults. Self and Identity, 9(3), 225–240. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860902979307
• Neff, K. D., & Pommier, E. (2013). The relationship between self-compassion and other-focused concern among college undergraduates, community adults, and practicing meditators. Self and Identity, 12(2), 160–176. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2011.649546
• Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (2009). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Journal of Personality, 77(1), 23–50. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2008.00537.x
• Öztürk Belet, E. (2025). Şefkatli ebeveynlik programının mindful ebeveynlik, mükemmeliyetçilik ve şefkat üzerine etkisinin incelenmesi (Yayımlanmamış doktora tezi). Marmara Üniversitesi, Eğitim Bilimleri Enstitüsü.
• Pomerantz, E. M. ve Eaton, M. M. (2001). Maternal intrusive support in the academic context: transactional socialization processes. Developmental psychology, 37(2), 174. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.37.2.174
• Pommier, E. A. (2010). The compassion scale (Yayımlanmamış doktora tezi). The University of Texas at Austin. Psychogiou, L., Legge, K., Parry, E., Mann, J., Nath, S., Ford, T., & Kuyken, W. (2016). Self-compassion and parenting in mothers and fathers with depression. Mindfulness, 7(4), 896–908. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-016-0528-6
• Purdon, C., Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (1999). Psychometric properties of the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale in a clinical anxiety disorders sample. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55(10), 1271–1286. https://doi.org/10.1002/(SICI)1097-4679(199910)55:10<1271::AID-JCLP8>3.0.CO;2-A
• Rasmussen, J. J., & Trolio, V. (2016). Perfectionism and adolescent psychological well-being: A systematic review of the literature. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(10), 2951–2971. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-016-0465-6
• Smith, M. M., Sherry, S. B., Rnic, K., Saklofske, D. H., Enns, M. W., & Gralnick, T. M. (2019). Are perfectionism dimensions risk factors for depressive symptoms across adolescence? A meta‐analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 65, 79–101. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2018.07.005
• Snell, W. E., Overbey, G. A., & Brewer, A. L. (2005). Parenting perfectionism and the parenting role. Personality and Individual Differences, 39(3), 613–624. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2005.02.012
• Soenens, B., Vansteenkiste, M., Duriez, B., & Goossens, L. (2005). Parenting and adolescent problem behavior: An integrated model with adolescent self-disclosure and perceived parental knowledge as intervening variables. Developmental Psychology, 42(2), 313–328. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.42.2.313
• Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295–319. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1004_2
• Şahingiray, E. (2020). Ebeveyn mükemmeliyetçiliğinin çocuktaki kaygı düzeyine etkisi: Çocuktaki mantık dışı inançların aracı rolü [Yüksek lisans tezi, Işık Üniversitesi Sosyal Bilimler Enstitüsü].
• Wang, X., & Turner, L. (2020). The role of social media in parenting stress: A qualitative study. Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, 14(2), Article 1. https://doi.org/10.5817/CP2020-2-1
• Yangın, N., & Camadan, F. (2020). Mükemmeliyetçilik ile yaşam doyumu arasındaki ilişkide affetmenin aracı rolü. Yaşadıkça Eğitim, 34(2), 241–263.
• Yasar, H. J., Pirani, Z., & Ali, Z. E. (2024). A parental burnout modelling based on perfectionism mediated through self-compassion in parents of students suffering from specific learning behavioral disorder. Acta psychologica, 246, 104227. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.actpsy.2024.104227
• Yeh, C. J., & Inman, A. G. (2007). Qualitative data analysis and interpretation in counseling psychology: Strategies for best practices. The Counseling Psychologist, 35(3), 369–403. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000006292596
• Young, J. E. (1999). Cognitive therapy for personality disorders: A schema-focused approach. Professional Resource Press/Professional Resource Exchange